our merch captain

Tonight I had an awesome visit with my good friend Tina - our merch captain.

I met Tina in 08 when she was the manager at Spruce Grove Walmart. Tina had organized a team within the store consisting of a group of her employees. She was a real go getter and had raised 18,000 through the store and corporate matches.

I will never forget the first conversation with her - it was over the phone and quite lengthy. Tina at the time was unaware that Kali was my daughter, and was very excited to know that the 2 of us were connected. It was shortly thereafter that we were invited to meet the team in the Grove. Upon meeting Tina, I instantly knew she was friend. Every visit thereafter was lengthy, including tonight although felt like just an hour. Her story is reflective of why she leaves such an impression, her smile infectious. It's no wonder she sold over 12,000 of merchandise on the day of the event. Tina is our "home page" girl and is in our 08 and 2010 bald is beautiful galleries. Might I say - she's lovely inside and out.

Tina is the person that purchases all of the merchandise. She is accountable for the cost and takes the risk in the event it does not sell out. There is almost no profit to be made off of our merch because our focus is to provide affordable memorabilia for our participants, not to soak them. The tiny bit of profit is just that, and it goes back to the event - 100%. Tina keeps nothing. In this day and age - who does that? She does..... and we are lucky to know her.

Last year I was quite worried that our merchandise captain would need replacing, as Tina was due to have her baby on the week of the event. She was not fazed and had decided that either way it went, she was GOING to be there. 5 days before the Massacure Sara was born. Tina was there as promised.

Set-up was at 6 am, tear down 9 pm, Tina was there - and in between. Her baby, not a peep - just as happy and chill as her mother.

Tina is amongst some of the most outstanding and committed captains. All of them have shown remarkable dedication to the event. Were very fortunate to have them as part of our team.

School Talent Show

Today was a talent show at the girls school. I was one of those annoying parents in the front row, big ol camera, cant sit still like a normal person and kinda loud. Yep, you know the type. Thats me.

I have not learned to be inconspicuous in an audience.

I have this obsession with pictures and my camera, and yes my kids sometimes find this annoying, but whatever....

I should have been a photographer, and when I eventually grow up, I plan to be. For now I am the annoying "wanna be" who lacks professional courtesy towards others where picture taking is concerned. I have no qualms about hip checking granny out of the way for a good shot.

The way I see it, it's memories and for me the visual side of the memory is more precious than anything one could ever own (other than your own children). If I am ever asked to take pictures for someone (as I did today) or have opportunity to just do so, I do and enjoy that.

So.... here I am, dissatisfied with the best seat in the house in the front row. I'm the twit moving around in front of the stage like a paparazzi striving for the best shot of my daughter dancing with our teacher and good friend Asha. It's a little ironic considering I would go through such effort to get "the shot" when I have my SLR camera set on "dummy" mode.

I wonder where Kyrsti received her level of talent. When I was a kid, I was an overweight nerd who struggled at everything. It's wonderful to see she did not inherit that gene from me.

I could never possibly have had anything to display at a talent show growing up (except eating quickly), I think the kids likely would have thrown tomatoes at me anyways. I admire the kids that found courage to show off their stuff today. I have dance competition next month and am starting to develop unruly butterflies, actually big fat hairy moths... perhaps a dry heave if I think about it long enough.

I think I kinda look like "Baby" in the early stages of Dirty Dancing.

Last year I did a karate demo at the school with Kyrsti at the talent show. I performed a san chin test (where she stands still whilst I beat on her). It was fun, but I don't think the crowd sensed "fun". You know that awkward kind of quiet... I guess you had to understand the style to appreciate our demo. "Hair Massacure Mom Beats minor - looking smug". Probably not our best choice, so I'm glad she picked dance this year. More crowd pleasing I suppose.

Back to the fact that I was proud, and it looked really good and her partner is an amazing teacher.

To all you Primeau kids who performed today - way to go!!

Surprise Party

I am dedicating this blog to the wonderful staff we work closely with at our charities - Stollery and Make-A-Wish.

On Monday evening, the "plan" was to hook up with Nicki and Cecelia (from Stollery) and have one last meeting before Cecelia transitioned to a 6 month sabbatical for the completion of her degree.

I was to bring my girls as well, even though the meeting was perceived by Cec to be work based.

It was actually a surprise party for Cec, not a work meeting... tee hee....

Nicki was arranging the thing and it took some fancy finagling to work out this tight schedule for us as Kyrsti was to teach a private dance lesson prior to her own duet practice with Asha Tomlinson (from City TV) on Monday night.

At the last minute, Asha postponed her practice and so did the ladies for their private lesson.

Pfew..... now we did not have to move our meeting back 2 hours with Cec (as Nicki was NOT fond of this idea anyway). Hmmmmmm.... now I know why (Nicki....)

We all got dolled up (kinda...) and off to Lazia we went to surprise Cec!

The hostess walked us upstairs to our table and it took a little bit to register....

Our peeps from Stollery and Make-A-Wish were gathered around group of tables pushed together - hand signed cards (by everyone) and gift bags in the empty seats where we were supposed to sit and huge smiles from all to greet us. Meagan and Steven beat us there, awaiting us (Megs was actually in on it), Nicki situated on the end looking all smug. Ironically no Cecelia - she could not make it. Surprise was on us!!

The tables were loaded with non stop appetizers, and the girls were most excited about their Shirley Temples. I sat there and took note that it was a bit much to process - you see it took several years to get to this point of collaboration, nevermind the close friendships that also developed over these past 2 years. Everyone around the table all had my interest as I have spent time with all of them and have grown quite fond of each one.

Tyler was on the end, of course making wise cracks the entire time, Brian (the new VP), Stephanie and Joleen, Hilary sharing funny stories about Danny (who could not be there) and Vegas, Cathy and Marta sharing humorous personal stories, and then theres my ex-rival (inside joke) Deborah. Deb is always interesting in her way, and even though I pretended "not to" for years, I always paid attention to her. I remember everything she ever said to me whether I like it or not.

A slide show was provided by Nicki partway through the evening - all staff from both sides that have either participated or helped with the event. It went back 4 years, and all I could think was "we sure had fun - even through the growing pains".

The appies ended with my favourite dessert at Lazia - Chocolate Overload. Mmmmmmm......

It's one thing to say "thank you, we appreciate your hard work and dedication", it's another to show it. They show it and always do... especially with the girls as they too are very much involved and sacrifice a lot for the event.

Thank you Make-A-Wish and Stollery for appreciating our family and supporting us. Thank you Nicki and Cecelia for planning this party- the surprise was wonderful.

Nicki - something good coming your way. It's called karma. Everything you do, and you took the time to thank US....

P.s. we love the angles you gave us in the gift bags.

K3 For the Kids

Todays post is long overdue as I am dedicating it to one particular group headed up by one man 3 years ago. His name is Paul Liimatainen and he is a senior boiler maker at the Keephills 3 Construction Site and has been in this occupation for over 30 years.

I met Paul in 07 when he shared his story with Kali and I.

You see, at a glance Paul may be perceived as intimidating due to his size, but engage in a conversation with him and his inner warmth is detected rather quickly. He is a soft spoken man with a gentleness about him that I believe was key to his recruitment of colleagues on the job site.

In 2007 Paul was intrigued by a couple pink heads walking the mall, followed by a poster of the Massacure. Kali in treatment and Gordon would have been the visual on this poster. Looking into this further Paul learned the details behind the pink hair and became inspired as this was quite different to a walk, bike ride, or a traditional means of fundraising. This was discussed with his family, one little grandaughter in particular who couldn't wrap her head around the idea that "grandpa" was going pink and chose not to believe his plan. It was through a lost bet that she realized he was serious. Paul told her that IF he saw his plan through, she would have to rub grandpas feet. I can only imagine her little face when grandpa showed up for dinner with pink hair....

Paul was the only one that year at Keephills with pink hair, but I'll tell you that he left his mark - $12,000 later! He had full support from co-workers Kinda Mueller and Diane Shaw who jumped right in and helped him with his project (including selling tickets to a luncheon and a silent aution). Kali and I were invited that first year to share in the chilli lunch and meet some of his supporters. Kali was gifted with a pink hoodie and a pink hard hat, as well as a tour of the site. I think Paul had a soft spot for her. Kali felt like a queen and I was quite surprised that my shy girl was quite comfortable around Paul.

The following year Paul's leadership and the organization of Linda and Dianne spilled over to more pink heads and a total of $48,000 was raised. Keephills 3 (K3 For the Kids was their team), and was proudly embroidered on toques that were made with our logo. I understand that the idea of selling 2000 donuts with pink icing may not be repeated due to the melting goopy icing that ended up everywhere, but again the lunch tickets and silent auction was another success. The approval of Dave Conlin, Dave Wruck and Aaron Marlatt from Capital Power (EPCOR) made this possible, with their blessing to hold these campaigns on site. (I had the privelage of meeting the 2 Daves today along with this years participants).

This year, 28 Keephills construction workers participated in their Massacure with the implementation of a sweet new idea - the "Pink Hard Hat" campaign. I have spoke briefly about this is a prior blog, but I will happily review this because its brilliant and fun and I believe this is gonna catch on like wild fire!

Paul and Linda brainstormed this, so kudos to them - $100.00 donation provides the participant with a pink hard hat for the month, a neat way to spread awareness, and a $100.00 tax receipt (because they are borrowing it for the month). If they wish to keep the hat, it will cost them another $100.00 to participate the following year. I love it! Underneath the pink hat, they are encouraged to sport their pink hair, but it is not mandatory.

When this catches on, I will ensure that the creators of the idea are recognized as I believe that it's important for folks to understand the history behind every success.

I feel that this will create a new demographic, much like our schools and hockey teams. This is a unique and fun way for construction workers to get involved as a team. A healthy challenge between groups just adds a bit more flavour through competition.

In early January I invited Paul on Breakfast television (City TV) for our kick off pinking event at Marvel College. He was interviewed by Bridget Ryan (our wonderful host who has been with us for 7 years). This is where he took opportunity to thank his supporters and issue a challenge to all construction workers. I marvelled at this "teddy bear" grandpa who has dedicated 3 years (and a LOT of effort I might add) to a cause so close to his heart.

K3 For the Kids held their own Massacure on the site on Feb 12, as was ours - but I was happy to see that a bald Paul had made the effort later that evening to swing by WEM and check out our event.

This year the efforts from K3 resulted in just over 74,000.00!! Again, thank you ladies for helping the big guy by organizing, inspiring and brain storming.

Kali and I were in the room with these 28 people today enjoying a lunch. It was mind boggling that this kind of money was generated by such a small number of people. Among the participants was a cancer dad that shared his story. His little guy is near the completion of an almost 4 year Leukaemia treatment plan (similar to Kali's but nearly a year longer). Everyone in the room was "involved" in the cause, their hearts and intentions pure. Later at a Stewarts meeting, we learned that it was also at their level that the word was spread - Huge....

Paul spoke for a bit - his glassy eyes reflected his commitment. I believe I heard him say that he would like to put together a group of 100 for next year..... all I thought was "does this man ever stop?". His vision is commendable and his children and grandchildren are very lucky to have him.

I believe he will do this, even if the group is separated. Paul just has that way about him - his leadership and genuine love for children that will continue to inspire.

To all those at K3, our heartfelt thank you for your support and efforts towards the Hair Massacure. Thank you for seeing us through our growing pains with our website and receipting, this really means a lot.

Thank you for your ongoing invitations for Kali and I to visit. We look forward to our next return visit with plaque in hand!

12,000 away!

Ok, so this is where we're at folks! Only 12,000 away from 1 M.

Last year I had set my goal there not anticipating the crash in our economy. Still we managed to increase by 33,000, but this chic was humbled to say the least. I wished I had not opened my yap to all forms of media that "1 M was on it's way".....

This year considering Haiti and the economy still in need of recovery, I did not go there in my head and set my goal at 849,000 (our final total from last year). Dare I appear cocky twice in a row, I ate humility pills all year and NOW I am hit with a genuine surprise that we have made it this far. The money continues to trickle in - we are just so close it would be a shame not to hit it.

I have faith though because of past history over the last 4 years, outstanding money - there seems to be an average of 200,000 that rolls in after the event. It will roll in somhow.

We have until April 30 (our cut off) to collect the remaining 12,000. Anything after this date is applied to next year's total.

Then were gonna have a party!

Colleen (nana) - Happy Birthday

Todays post I dedicate to my mom (aka Nana..... or Colleen). Its her birthday and I might add that she looks pretty darn good for her age.

I grew up as a single child under the care of a hard working, struggling single mom. We didn't always agree on everything (and still don't) but one thing that I attribute my work ethic to is her (and in all fairness, my dad as well).

My mom had a high position with the department of motor vehicles. It was her responsibility to set up various offices across Northern Alberta (Red Deer and up) and train the managers (and their employees) to the current system. Lets just she she has a knack for structure, organization and delegation. I do not have that gene, so I struggle with all of those things - but it is her examples that gave me something to strive for.

My mom was our volunteer coordinator in 08 and might I say she did an outstanding job considering I threw the position onto her lap at a moments notice.

She has this knack of seeing a person's weaknesses and strengths in no time and was able to determine which person was suitable for any of the many positions available at the event regardless of their level of interest. They all grew to love her and called her "Nana".

Again - the family run event is truly that. Her are all about hugs, laughs and tears (maybe more so Nana than myself ...lol).

I'll tell you something else, she's a very good sport considering all of the pranks I have played on her over the years. Everything from goldfish in her ice cubes, eggs in her shoes, ex-lax in her coffee, rubber snakes (her phobia), pretend bees, electric fences, ditching her in the dark, salt in the coffee at prestigious functions, ode de kitty (that one's too gross to tell... but it funny), buzzards on her lawn, and the evil wedding dress plot... gosh the list goes on BUT she never held a gruidge and she always cracked a smile (eventually).

Always with poise, I could have learned a lot from her growing up but I was too much of a tom boy to care. I also admired her fiery spirit. She never took (something that rhymes with fit) from anyone and raised me with the same attitude (although this did not kick in until I was in my last 30's..). She set boundaries and goals and was never wishy washy about anything.

The libra in me that focuses on balancing everything struggles with waffling as my tendency is to be a bit of a pushover and an over thinker. Good thing I have gentle reminders that continually strive to keep me in check. One of those reminders is my mother.

Never gave up - ever, endless determination that thankfully did rub off, I am thankful for that.

So with that I will end this post with a tribute to Colleen.

I'm back....

Hi folks, been a while since my last post. Haven't been well and brain needed a rest.

I am hoping to not repeat an unhealthy pattern of being catatonic for months after, watching repeats of House with a bib around my neck to catch the drool.

I am forcing this blog (meaning it's me writing without my upstairs support system that I typically rely on). I put it that way because I often throw together a blog without a second thought (after a long overwhelming day of whatever) and before I know it, I've documented something.

So..... (I've now sat here for 25 minutes, on my couch, laptop (chubby wiener dog underneath), one of the kids snuggled against me and tv in the background)..... arrrgggghhhhh!!

OK! Here it is..... as I alluded to -

It's been a relatively slow week (production wise). Been sick with a cold / flu (everyone except the immuno- suppressed one). Took my eye of newt, Vit C, oil Oregano, freeze dried flying squirrel poo (according to my acupuncturist) and STILL I leaked. I haven't been sick with a cold in years (finally got that under control), and so it was humbling to say the least.

Since Kali's battle, we learned as a family to NOT get sick. Just wasnt an option as a simple cold or flu could have taken or severely threatened her life. Half was a mindset (kinda like Ellen calling you at home, inviting you on her show complete with perks- what is the likelyhood of getting sick?), the other half was my knowledge at Hogwarts and my ability to chase the children to a headlock with some herbal concoction that worked.

I guess, its the same thing. I am not allowed to get sick for the pre event stuff or God forbid Feb 12th.... so I guess it was ok to let it go to stick kleenex twizzlers up my nose.

Onward.... today I felt better.

I met with my friend Deborah from Stollery (whom I used to fight with continually) and the head of Paediatrics at the Aberhart (where Tammy was late because I got lost in the parking lot....).

We discussed paediatric research, cutting edge stuff that would revolutionize where research is heading from here. Yay - finally!

I am stoked about what Hair Massacure funds at Stollery and truly proud to be a part of that.

Folks what I learned today is a more wholistic approach meaning that studies will now include more factors than just cells in a petrie dish. It involves case studies of real patients, history of a patient, genetics, living conditions, diet, exposures.... and standardized systems that encourage collaboration. Did I mention that our head researcher has pinked and shaved 2 years in a row AND his entire research team (pinked) came out to assist with his shave? So cool....

Not ALL researchers are dry.

Anyhow my point is that I love knowing that we are making a difference. It felt great today walking out of that meeting. Also felt great to enjoy breakfast with my daughter Megs, later to tour some of our participating salons to pop in and say thank you! Was a good day.

Beamer's legacy

Todays post is about Beamer.

Beamer is the reason I have a F.R.E.D (Family Run Event Dog).

Neil Dowel is the proud owner of Beamer - a large white standard poodle.

I have never grown tired of the hospital stories with Beamer, any story in fact.

This exceptional pair have visited the 4th floor (Peds) at least every Tuesday at the Stollery, focusing primarily on the Peds Oncology Unit for the past 10 years.

This is where we met them and fell in love with a poodle.

Admittedly I am a labrador kinda girl, born and raised with.

Poodles were not a worthy consideration to me.

Ive always assumed poodles to be "prissy", snobby, temperamental odd looking companions for the elite, not our style.... till we met Beamer.

Beamer's first visit to Kali was early 2001 in 4E3 (Oncology) during our week long stay for chemo.

Weird as it seemed, upon introduction my impulse was to reach out and pet this "dog", not sure why.

His owner seemed nice, and I was so impressed that he brought his puffy dog out to visit the kids that I engaged in a lengthy and most pleasant conversation.

I became educated on the breed and my opinion changed.

As I listened intently, my hand found it's way around the dog and to my surprise I was hugging a poodle. I was hooked.

Over the last 10 years I have had the pleasure and privilege of getting to know the family.

For over 11 years Neil Dowel has taken every Tuesday off to drive for an hour each way to visit one of the most difficult places to visit - 4E3 the peds Oncology ward.

I have heard many touching stories over the years through my frequent lunch visits and phone conversations.

From my understanding, the nurses knew who to call when a child needed a boost (incentive) or a last visit.

Beamer just knew what to do (and when I say that, I am referring to a knowing that cannot be taught).

Neil showed Beamer the cue to "cuddle" when he sensed a child needed something.

That was what I refer to as a "cat swipe" where you would assume that the dog is diving for the crotch, by really they are just rolling against you - hence "cuddle". FRED does this too.

Sometimes Beams jumped on the child's bed and snuggled in, offered a peak at his pretty toes, or demonstrated his "hospital speak" which was well trained silent bark.

Whatever his cue or impulse told him to do, it was always the right thing for the child.

I have been privy to stories involving Beamer offering comfort to the dying child. How he inherently knew to rest his head on the child during their last breaths is evidence of how

special he is.

I can't imagine how difficult this was for Neil to be directly involved in so many young deaths, or horrific procedures that required some necessary comfort and serious distraction.

This man I admire for so many reasons, primarily his strength and positive attitude.

This dog, I swear is human. So exceptional and known for his intelligence and intuition - the stories never cease to amaze me.

I did rounds (on the invitation of Neil) with Beamer (and his canine brother Murphy) at the Stollery last fall.

I didn't last long as there are now too many triggers for me, however what I observed was totally worth the flashes of unwanted memories.

These dogs really lift those kids (as I remember when beamer lifted us), even the nurses look forward to their visits.

A fatigued mom broke down when we were there. She had been there for weeks, her son crippled by his condition lit up when he saw Beamer and Murphy.

She said that the spirit was so low in the family, she could not recall the last time they had smiled, particularly her son.

The boy asked for help so he could reach down to rub a sprawled out Murphy showing his fat belly. Meanwhile Beamer nestled right in.

During our rounds I marvelled at an incident where Beamer had a bit of an upset tummy.

He discretely nudged Neil for assistance and slipped off during a visit in the school to quietly throw up into a garbage can in an adjoining room.

No person knew, but Neil and myself.

After the visit, he had earned his cookie and knew exactly where to find it (downstairs at volunteer services, in his cupboard).

Beamer knew the hospital like the back of his paw.

Elexis, a remarkable young survivor told me during a visit that she is alive today because of Beamer.

She has had a few close calls in her journey recalls this one day in 4E when she was simply done. She was tired and ready to slip away. Beamer was called in.

The visit with him reminded her of how much she loved dogs and missed her own so very much at home.

The interaction gave her enough of a boost.

She fought, she lived.

In 2007 I invited Beamer to attend the Massacure, suggested to his sister (Nicole, a teacher at a participating school) that maybe he might wish to be pink. She and Neil obliged.

They developed an ingenious and safe pinking process for him - diluted food colouring in a spray bottle. This idea was shared with us for FRED.

It was magnificent. I told no one except the media. It was to be a surprise that Beamer would be the opening shave with Kali, Gord, and another survivor Nathan (from Gibbons school).

During the announcement for the opening shave, I halted while fighting my way though the media and the crowds to cue Beamer to come. He bounced onto the stage (from his hiding place) like a big pink sheep, camera men awaiting the moment.

The surprise was as anticipated - a HUGE success, the crown in awe!

As my oldest daughter (Meagan) was shaving our youngest (Kali), Beamer was also being shaved by Neil.

Kali, with clippers in hand was shaving one side of Beamer as her locks fell with his.

Neil and our young friend Elixis took care of the other side.

This made front page of various papers and television.

If this wasn't emotional enough, at the exact moment that Beamer was loosing his pink wooly coat, his mom (Neils wife) was in surgery.

2 guesses what she had......

It was an extremely nobel gesture on her part to request that her husband be at our Massacure rather than waiting in a waiting room for his wife.

Exceptional people.

THIS response to a pink poodle was in fact the very reason I found a F.R.E.D.

Beamer now retired, (as of this January) has good apprentices - FRED and Murphy.

Its my thought that maybe one day, if I effectively manage my triggers I may entertain the idea of therapy with FRED.

I'll find a finishing school for him and therapy for me and perhaps one day we'll be spotted on the 4th floor of the hospital (Stollery).

Freddy is not insightful like Beams nor as gallant, but that belch program he has enlisted could makes him an interesting candidate for a therapy dog (IF its true about humor being medicine). Regardless, there will be no replacement for Beamer.

We have spent time over the years with Beamer and Murphy.

Fred, every so often goes over for a play visit and is allowed to be a poodle in poodle environment.

Last summer we had a few days at the lake with Neil and the dogs. Knowing how much Beams loves the ball, it was evident that he was slowing down, allowing the "brother" to fetch in his place. We all kind of wondered if this summer would be the last.

On Wednesday March 3, just minutes after, I received the call from a heartbroken Neil.

I knew that Beamer had developed the very disease that he was comforting children from.

He had cancer.

Beamers condition managed until it was no longer possible.

How ironic that Murphy would snuggle in and rest his head onto Beamer during his lasts breaths.

As my friend Andrea (owner of the late Palliden - our 3rd pink HM poodle) so delicately stated-

"Sleep well Big Dog, you deserve it".

Beamer (November 3, 1998 - March 3, 2011)

perspective

I used this word a lot yesterday when meeting with a very dear friend.

Her story is truly remarkable and I am privileged to know her and her sister.

Seems I have collected quite a few of these incredible friends in my life over the years and it also seems its a result of what we went through with Kali and the Massacure that has drawn them to us, enriching our lives. Another remarkable one shows her peace symbol on our home page. That will be another blog.....

My friend does not have cancer, nor does she have a child or loved one with it. Her experiences are far past what my brain can comprehend. Horrific childhood, unspeakable in fact - yet she wears a smile and her sense of humour is crazy. Her sister - the same.

My blog is about perspective. Just when a person has reached the end of their rope and feels they can endure no more, another person comes along with a story that in fact changes or alters the way they feel.

I finally learned this in the hospital with Kali- the darkest moments of my life. Through all of my personal hardships, compromised heath with myself and 3 girls - these years from 2000 and on were by far the worst. Again perspective. Seems to me when my first was fighting for her life at 28 weeks in the neonatal unit, THAT was the worst. Then child #2 with a severe head injury, numerous health complications and a tumour on the kidney - thought THAT was the worst. It's relative to what and how much we can endure at that given time.

During the Kali years, at the point when I was crumbling, I found enough strength to find another parent going through the same thing and would ask for their story. As much as it pains me to say, I found solace through another's pain. I had learned a valuable life lesson.

My 2 sister friends inspire me. They are huge supporters of the event and you could not ask for better people as they are always there in a time of need - smiles on and ready to go.

Getting back to the one sister in particular, I took a walk around the block yesterday (which was wonderfully warm and sunny) and absorbed what she was telling me. She has PTSD - something I just became all too familiar with. I imagine mine must pale in compassion to hers.

I wanted to fix her - make it all go away, buy her a car and a home and a ready made functional family. I felt helpless. Her savings have gone into flying back and forth to an underprivileged country to support needy children. Her dream (besides normalcy) is to sell hand made goods from her country of choice and return the profit back with the plan to develop the requirements for the children and the impoverished schools. Still her dreams do not involve self benefit, this is just how she is wired. My thought to that is that we need more of this mindset on this earth and less greed and self absorbency.

For her, I hope one day that she acquires some personal wishes for herself. I hope she feels deserving of blessings and accepts them with God's grace.

I am a true believer that all things happen for a reason. As much as we don't understand the reasoning from above why horrible things happen, every experience is a prompt for another door to open or close. I think these doors are opportunities with free choice. Its then up to us whether to notice and accept the opportunities.

Her experiences, although unbelievably deplorable have made her stronger, wiser and super compassionate.

I am privileged to know her, to be entrusted to the truth of her past.

To my 2 sisters out there, Thank you for befriending me. You have enriched myself, my girls, and a lot of volunteers / participants. May God bless you both with wonderful experiences and opportunities.

event fatigue.

This post is about event fatigue. With most major events, this is not uncommon to suffer post event exhaustion. I can see that Nicki too is experiencing this, last year it was Tyler and the year prior was Nadine.

Speaking for my own experience, its been 5 years of "not right in the head" for a good 2-5 months after. This year it starts earlier.

Not going to throw myself back into the thumb sucking fetal position begging for someone to slip me a free McDonald's coffee, or a roll up the rim.... BUT I want to.

To offer some clarity, an event of this nature with this level of complexity, thousands of people and a very high emotion factor will be the perfect breeding ground for a melt down. Goo goo ga ga....

I have received several congratulatory remarks followed by "are you finally resting now?", or "finally you guys can relax!", or "now what will you do with your time?".

Normally the way this rolls is that we may take 1-2 days off (actually this was the first year THAT happened) before we hit it hard with post event responsibilities.

For the last 4 years, there has been an event or headshave immediately following the Massacure leaving no opportunity for a days rest.

This year I pre-booked a get away with my girls that would commit me to taking 3 days off.

(didnt quite work out as I intended as I got started early on follow up in our hotel room anyway..... that was my decision). Its hard to work at such momentum with

no weekends or evenings off, and then abruptly stop for a few days to unwind. I think the hamster wheel takes a bit before it stops.

It has been over a week since my last blog. My ability to write or comprehend has gone to the dogs, but thankfully a well needed acupuncture treatment on Thursday was just what this chic needed to regain some juice to keep up with Nicki.

The next steps are updating the website (and THAT mess is going to be fun...), sorting through and editing thousands of pics and choosing for promotion (Nicki and I will enjoy THIS task), website and 2010 video, a continuation of a long list of thank yous, implementing debrief comments (advice) from captains, sponsors, and our 2 foundations, and setting select commitments in place for next year. It's overwhelming just to write it down....

I'm thinking in my next life (if I do this again), I will keep it simple and not fill my plate with 4 girls, 3 dogs, karate, dance, school, and Iridology. But than again.... what would be the point?