Christmas updates

Hi folks, Merry belated Christmas!

First update shall be about my little cousin Taylor. I am pleased to say that my Taylor was released to our family just in time for a mid afternoon Christmas meal. Still weak and shaken from her ordeal in ICU, Taylor managed to endure a couple of hours of visiting from the couch (with a smile).

Ironically the first thing she came out with upon entering my moms house was "Kali, what did you do to your wrist?" These kids are like that.

Kali really didn't know what to say. A fracture pales in comparison to a coma.

Despite the fact that Santa greeted Taylor (and all kids) at the Stollery - with his full on sleigh, toy bag and gifts - our family felt that his delivery of her to US was by far the best.

It was a great Christmas. I still don't care about the gifts.

But I aint gonna lie... I care about the food.

Jaime is in BC with her family visiting with her dad who was also just released from ICU. I know she is feeling helpless in regards to his health.

As parents we have the authority and ability to control the situation with our children's health, living conditions, exposures, etc.

Any parent that chooses to opt out of nurturing - I personally feel you should be tarred and feathered at the very least .... (just sayin'... ).

As children of older parents, we do not have that control unless it has progressed to extreme conditions where power of attorney takes effect. Sometimes after all of our support, all of our efforts, advice and resources exhausted - all we can do is pray for them and watch for the outcome.

I speak from experience as my own father and step mom are both recently fighting very serious health issues that have turned our family to prayers.

Jaime is praying too and soaking up precious time with her family in BC.

I am soaking my family at home. <3

Unfortunately winter months (campaign season) are not conducive to connecting with family very much, so this break has been very nice.

Brandi... well we believe she is on a lovely well deserved holiday (at least thats was her story when she left). Smoke and screetch from her tires in the Make-A-Wish parking lot Friday at 5 may have indicated she needed a break.

The GPS we fastened to her ankle when we took off the shackles has lost signal. Jaime and I have our fingers crossed... but then again - she really does love us. :)

A few more day after new years and the campaign will explode.

With HM on Feb 3, we have a very short window to cram our chaos into. I suspect lots of caffeine chocolate and Ritalin (for me) will be on the list.

Here are a few updates for you:

McDonalds Corporate Restaurants (BIG returning sponsor) shall be selling Kali Bears again as well as feeding our 400 volunteers (BTW - these paper kali bears were Jaime's brainchild when she implemented them years back as the C.R.)

Totem - our new BIG sponsor shall be selling Kali Bears and Pink Hard Hats (brain child of Paul Liimatainen years back - implemented by Paul Hobbs GM of Totem AB). Just discovered Kali Bears as far south as Lethbridge and north Grand Prairie!

Save On Foods - (returning BIG sponsor) shall be selling Kali Bears and Kali Pink / bleach and hair extensions in all Northern Alberta locations!

Corus Radio - Along with our returning big media sponsor CISN, they shall have CHED and JOE in tow this year - very excited to work with all of them!

West Edmonton Mall - if you haven't heard yet - they have donated the Ice Palace!

Romy Young Photography - will be working with us on creative design (check out our Xmas photos included in this blog), capturing and organizing photos and a promo video for next year.

We have a new social media sponsor (excited to share more SOON) - Pure Logic Solutions!

We have of course more wonderful sponsors that shall be showcased throughout this blog at a later time, just wanted to update on the new exciting items.

Stay tuned for more - perhaps another sponsor or too shall bless us for this anniversary event.

Tam

When Kailey got her wish!

I would love to share for you my families experience with our daughter being a recipient with Make-A-Wish.

I want to tell you specifically about the day she received the news that she would be getting to make a wish.

My daughter has had to fight for her life, literally since the moment she was born.....12 years ago.

When we first were told of Kailey being selected we were overwhelmed with many emotions. Grateful, Joy but to be honest it was a little sad too. To have your child selected it means they suffer with a "life threatening illness". The reality of this, to be blunt is that if Kailey gets sick or any cold, and it enters her lungs or even if she was to take a sip of a glass of water, we could lose our daughter.

This is something that as a parent of a child in this predicament, you avoid acknowledging. We strive to make Kailey's life as normal as possible and enjoy every healthy breath and once in a while it settles in just how scared you are. For me, her being selected was one of those moments. We knew Kailey was going to be presented with this moment a couple weeks before, so it was a good "processing time". When you have a sick child you are often riddled with guilt, what if's and wish I would of or wish I could just moments. I had time to "process" my crap and decide to take in the joy that this wish was going to mean.

So off to the Make-A-Wish building in the west end of Edmonton with a bunch of the people that could make it that morning and that have been a part and watched Kailey through many battles. Dad, Me, Gramma (my mom), Auntie Christie and Kailey's long time aide Teresa. I knew Marta, (at the time she worked with MAW) and Tammy was our volunteer wish granter. We piled into the office and I am sure Kailey had no clue what was going on. Marta then begins to tell Kailey what MAW is about and delivers the news "Kailey, you have been nominated by your incredible doctor (our beloved angel Dr.McGonigle) to make a wish.

I look at my beautiful daughters face and in that second remember how many times we watched this precious face in sheer pain, held her down for needles and procedures and locked our eyes and hearts on the medical monitors begging God to PLEASE let her stay with me. Instead this time I see absolute JOY. I am thinking about how amazing this child is, thank God for her stubborn nature.

Kailey looks confused, excited and just in awe. We take a minute to clarify, "Kailey, YOU are getting to wish for anything or to meet anyone you want!" She bursts into laughter...it takes her little time to say "I WISH TO MEET JOE JONAS!!!!" I was not surprised! Marta explains that she has to make 3 wishes just in case they can't facilitate one..she looks astounded..."I WISH TO SWIM WITH DOLPHIN's" and "MEET ZAC EFRON"!! As we all cry and enjoy this the happiness my daughter is feeling I realize that she has already begun to change because of this wish and she has not even known for one hour yet! I see confidence bursting from her smile like I have never seen before.

As we walk to the car, I look at her face deep in thought and I ask this little miracle what she is thinking and this 9 year old child says to me something that I will never forget and she has no idea how profound the statement is. But with this statement it exactly describes the reason wishes for children in her position are so vital as we all know the child with spirt and joy has the energy to continue to fight.

Kailey says to me " This is the first time in my life that I have actually been given something because of my disability and not had something taken away". This is so accurate.

This is why I am so passionate about this organization. I saw my daughter change that day and we now have this wonderful memory to focus on when she is having a bad day or is not well. That's a gift I do not know how to ever say enough thanks for.

Praying for Taylor

I find a lot of irony in this particular blog.

This will be the 2nd Taylor that I have requested prayers for in the past year.

I thank God for the miracluous success with little Taylor (#1) who fought all odds last year with the rapidly growing tumours in her brain that called for an urgent widespread prayer chain. Taylor had an estimated 3 weeks left ... she's been recently captured in the cutest pics sitting on Santas knee (where I believe all children should be sitting close to Christmas time).

Now Im praying for a new Taylor. My Taylor.

She's my little cousin who I adopted as "my little kid" dating back to when she was born. We spend every Christmas together and now Im struggling with the second piece of irony.

My last 2 blogs:

http://hairmassacure.blogspot.com/2011/12/take-it-all-in.html

http://hairmassacure.blogspot.com/2011/12/climbing-out-of-christmas-despair.html

both reflect children suffering in hospital - going through the holiday season.

How could I have known that days after my last blog that another young family member would be taken to this place.... that I would return to this place.

Im feeling torn between my own selfish feelings and triggers and feelings for Taylor and all of the kids at Stollery right now. I shouldnt take this internally, I feel guilty for doing so.

I learned yesterday that its packed in Stollery right now :(

I also learned that Taylor was just transferred from ICU (a good thing) to 4E3 (our old stomping ground - Peds Oncology). Yuck.

I will return for a visit tomorrow and I will wear a smile for her, but inside Im absolutely dreading it. I don't want to go back in there at Christmas time, but again this is not about me.

Taylor was taken in this week by ambulance from her school. From what I understand she fell into her coma right there and then. Taylor is diabetic among other threatening conditions that impede her birthright to be healthy and normal.

When Taylor woke up a couple of days later, we breathed a sigh of relief until we learned that

her condition is still not understood and they are just treating symptoms.

Again, through the sick worry we are all so grateful that she is at the Stollery. She is really getting the best care she could receive in the country.

My last visit with her in ICU reflected a ton of teasing followed by soft little giggles.

I would not go in there and feel heavy, instead I would be the same Tammy that she is accustomed to.

I asked her why she chose this particular method of skipping school, what was up with her hair, why she decides to take "naps" in the middle of the day and why she seems to think she needs a higher IV tower than everyone else? I told her that when she decides to cause some trouble I would help her, and that I was gonna tell on her to my daughter Meagan about the hair thing (Megs is her hair stylist).

Every giggle was like music, every smile was gold.

Still I left feeling like I had been hit by a truck (and I really have - so I know the feeling).

I dont understand why some children are meant to suffer and why "bad guys" often go unscathed.

Like everyone who has lost or been affected by a suffering child - we feel desperate and helpless at the same time.

I will update my Christmas visit to Stollery, stay tuned.

Jaime's Gadgets

Something you would learn about me rather quickly is how much I love new gadgets. I love iPods and iPads and if my husband had not locked the shopping channel, I will believe that you NEED to boil eggs in little cups and all I need is one more hand blender. I love any kind of object that makes life easier. Why wouldn't I? Life as a working mom is busy and any little job means more time with my kids...lol...or my gadgets.

The problem I have is that the gadgets don't see to like me! I have had my computer crash more times than I can count, I think I may be on a list somewhere to mail viruses to me to see if they work! And they always do! So what did I do to combat this issue? I started learning how to back my files up, the problem with that is that I actually have experienced my back up files crashing! So, to be ahead of this I decide to back up my back up files...now I am so confused as to where the files are and even more confused than when my computer crashes!

Then there is the battery problem, I have spent more hours searching for chargers than the average person spends sleeping! I seem to run out battery power more often than any other person I know. I am quite confident my skin gives off a battery charge that helps to drain batteries! I have owned more cameras than your can imagine due to the fact that I have lose the chargers!

So, is it no surprise then when I get introduced to the world of the "Mac" computers I would suffer serious frustrations?? Thank god for Glen Peters and his super powers of fixing Jaime's computer issues...over and over and OVER again...I think when he hears a DING in the middle of the night he is now accustomed to to thinking, " what did she do now?"

So I finally get up and running and learn some cool tricks and decide, I need to own an iPad! There is this new wonderful gadget called, "iCloud"! Not only does it sound really cool, I am positive this will make my life so much easier! My hubby should have booked Glen for his duration of Christmas holidays before he decided this ipad would be the perfect Christmas gift for me!

Glen made plans to go home with his OWN family for Christmas and I am not sure I will be okay without my super computer fixing friend! So, in the 3 days I have owned this iPad ( we opened presents early in my house due to traveling for Christmas), Glen had to update my entire system on my Mac. His first mistake was sending me home With the computer installing as it was taking a really long time, but he was confident I could handle this and the system would walk me through what to do next! So, I thought I did that right, whew! Quite chuff with myself I decide, I am on fire and I can handle updating the new iPad, then set up the cloud! I discover late at night (cause that's when my computer crashing skills are the strongest) I have lost the capability in the upgrade to use microsoft word or excel files...problem..ALL MY FILES ARE WORD OR EXCEL!!!!

Again Glen hears the DING at 11:30 at night and replies back....again...What did you do????

I know this may sound spoiled but I know not to worry to much, because super Glen, I know, will get me up and running...again...and I am sure in the near future...again.

Thank you Mr. Super fixing friend for all your incredible patience....DING..I need help!

What I REALLY want for Christmas

Well, here we are just four sleeps until Christmas. As I recently said on Twitter - that count only applies if you are actually sleeping :)

We put so much pressure on ourselves to do more, buy more, be more at this time of year, don't we? Why is that? Truth be told most of us have everything we need. Friends and family ask "What do your kids/you want/need for Christmas?" in genuine hopes of fulfilling wishes. The honest answer would usually be "Nothing". Yes, maybe we could do with a new pair of slippers (mine are actually my crocs) or a new waffle iron (cause I really like waffles) or a new... wait - I can't say more in case my kids read this! But my point is we actually don't need more stuff.

What I'd really like this Christmas is the ability to slow down, unplug from technology, and just be in the moment. I'd like to watch the excitement in my son's eyes when he opens the BIG box behind the tree from his Nana instead of rushing to clean up the paper. I'd like to linger in the moment when my daughter sees the thoughtfully chosen gift from her brother. And I'd like to savour the laughter that I know is going to come when my honey opens the little-bitty box in the corner.

What I often lack is the ability to stop thinking. Stop planning. Stop evaluating. I wish I could just "be". Maybe it's a learned thing. And I'm really trying to learn it. My goal this year is to slow down and not let the little pressures get to me so much. Working at HM, you'd think I would have automatically grown more able to appreciate the little things - considering the families we meet are struggling with such heart-wrenching situations. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate small victories (mine are often associated with finishing a document or solving a process-related problem). I just wonder why all these pressures still get to me when I should be more grateful for all I have and what goes right.

So, my wish for all of us this Christmas is that we do some of the things we talk about. Hug more, smile more, worry less, slow down and be in the moment. Remember the line that says "Life isn't about the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away". I wish you LOTS of those moments.

Merry Christmas,
Brandi

Take it all in

I have been reflecting today. My rekindled Christmas spirit that I spoke about in my last blog is still alive and well.

I am visiting with my cousin Becky, a dedicated Missionary from South Africa.

Becky has been away from the family for 6 years now, beckoned by God to leave her long standing job with Telus and all of her possessions to help children in a far away land. Her obedience to the divine message has allowed all of the necessary doors to open which have provided her with everything she needs to sustain herself as a missionary.

Coming back to Canada once a year continues to be a culture shock for her.

Children afflicted with Aids and Hep B surround her daily, lives lost weekly, stabbings, corruption and poverty - everyday life. She chooses to embrace. She does not see kids in hospital beds - this is for the rich.

There are no toys, no teddy bears, wishes for kids, Christmas trees, carols, fancy baking, or fundraising events.

The children need food and medicine. They need support, education, and healthy mentorship.

Its all about perspective.

What Im reflecting about is OUR children here.

If you have children, or are an older sibling, or have some type of relationship with a child - give them your time.

Invest in the development of their character.

Play cards or a board game. Its remarkable how a simple game can teach a child so many values and life skills.

A game can provide opportunity to teach a child healthy competition, patience, self confidence, strategy, loosing gracefully and developing genuine excitement for your winning opponent.

Many valuable social skills can be developed within such a simple little opportunity.

So why do we opt for technology as parents?

As society leans towards virtual connections and television, our children and teens are living and playing independently. They miss out on these vital social opportunities.

As Becky pointed out to me - "its like we all live on our own little islands".

In the Christmas season - bake cookies with your kids.

Construct a gingerbread house.

Plan and cook your Christmas meal as a family.

Build a snowman.

Go skating on a pond.

Take in a hay ride.

Visit with friends and family.

Sing some carols.

Pick up some real games for your family.

Then think of the kids that cannot do these things.

There are quietly fighting in hospital beds.

Many of them cannot have family around them due to compromised immune systems.

Many are not wishing for toys, gadgets or things - they have greater wishes.

In a blink of an eye, our kids will grow up and start their own lives.

Grab your kid and play a game.

Climbing out of Christmas despair

11 years ago, we spent Christmas in the Peds Oncology unit at the Stollery.

Our daughter Kali at the age of 2 1/2 was more aware of her current state of being than most 10 year olds.

She fully understood that Christmas was not going to be experienced in the same way it was portrayed by the visual clues around her.

Christmas is cosmic fun and excitement to a child. Families celebrating, visiting Santa at the mall, singing carols, eating goodies and the heightened anticipation of Santa's visit (whats inside my presents?) is magic for kids.

Children aught not to be praying for their lives so as not to devestate their families in their permenent absence during the festive season. We saw plenty of this with the older kids.

With our Kali, it was simply a crushing of her little spirits that we watched helplessly.

A child needs their family around them during celebration and crisis - not in Oncology.

Sadly, the presense of family to a child lacking an immune system will place their fragile lives at great risk.

Cancer patients cannot enjoy home baking due to handling (germs), therefore festive baking must be secretly consumed by immediate family members away from the patient.

To ask family and friends to leave the hospital or your home is beyond awkward, in some cases it destroys relationships due to a lack of understanding its severity. Its also very lonely without ones peeps.

Visiting the mall to see Santa and Christmas displays is not an option when white counts are critically low (which is often).

Lining up with other children to sit on Santas knee is simply out of the question.

So then what is Christmas? It's redefined.

It means "Im too sick to get out of my bed to watch the snow fall, too sick to eat Christmas baking, to weak to sing or celebrate with family .... (hmmmm .... celebrate what??),

I just want Christmas to be over".

To be surrounded by such despair can truly impair a parents perspective about Christmas or any other celebratory occasion.

I can't speak for Gord, but for myself it has taken me 11 years to find the festive spirit and embrace it.

Our first Christmas, (inside our modified lifestyle) lead me down a path of holiday resentment.

I did not want any exposures around me - no tree, no decorations, no carols, (baking... well I compromised).

Treatment left us flat broke with no opportunity to leave our child to shop, so the salvation army paid a visit to our home with a Christmas meal and gifts for our kids. It was humbling to say the least.

Gifts and baking flooded in from our community and karate school.

My mom (who's all about Christmas) bypassed her grinch daughter and brought over a tree and decorated it for the other girls left at home.

I had selfishly robbed my other kids of their right to celebrate.

Mom was NOT ok with that. I received her gentle kick to the derrière with humility.

Appreciation and gratitude for these kind gestures were fully experienced, but not enough to lure me into the festive spirit.

Even the surprise visit from Santa at Stollery Christmas morning - via a real sleigh (assembled in Stollery), and an authentic massive bag bursting with gifts for the young patients was stirring... but not enough to move me.

I have been quietly boycotting the movement ever since. Containing my feelings (or lack thereof) Ive played along with my ho hum attitude each year so as not to totally demolish my family's right to feel holiday pleasure.

I guess time eventually heals.

Im proud to say that this year I have a REAL tree, as I desperately wanted to take in Christmas with all of my senses.

The smell of the tree when I walk in my front door reminds me of what I have missed out on for so long. My home decorated early this year, my choice (not begrudgingly - for the sake of the kids), and Ive even hummed along to a few tunes. Baking is coming along nicely and I'M cooking this years turkey.

Yesterday we did a neat little Christmas photo shoot for Hair Massacure (which will be revealed very soon) and tomorrow we are having a small gathering of HM peeps to celebrate the season.

I can't ever say that Christmas has returned to me in the same fashion.

I will always feel annoyed with the hype, exagerated marketing, unnecessary financial pressures and obligations, and wasted focus towards aspects of Christmas that do not reflect spirit.

my wish for all of you to feel spirit as did the Wisemen who awaited the miracle that ultimately created CHRISTmas.

Goin' to Grande Prairie

Yesterday Jaime and I ventured out to Grande Prairie to spread a little Massacure around. Neither of us had been there, the size of the city surprised us.

Prior to our early departure I updated my GPS to ensure that I would not get us lost (it pains me to say that being a trappers daughter did not influence my sense of direction).

Tracking my mileage, I realized that we travelled further within the town limits than travelling to it - GPS you are NOT my friend.

"Save On Foods" took us to a school, "Totem" took us to a residential area, "McD's" took us clear around the town - the long way, as did the hotel which lead us on a dirt road, and the "movie theatre" was 271 miles away.

Jaime became the navigation with her blackberry uttering verbal directions to a person with ADHD who is directionally challenged.

Meeting at Save On Foods went very well. We referred to ourselves as Divas of Massacure and the staff there seemed to be the perfect fit for us - they're nuts too :)

As Jaime spoke of sponsorship details, I drifted off into my phone in desperate search of every stupid picture I could find - a story HAD to be told.

Of course I had pics of various Save On events - my fav being "dudes in dresses" day.

Regional manager bearing his oranges (squeezed from behind) whilst wearing a pink dress and sporting pink hair. He just happened to be up there yesterday.... I needed to share.

Oh and here's one of an armpit shave, here is a hairy chest and check out this guys legs.....

An impressive hair donation, ya'll know Dawn Marie? I could have went on and on...

They are very excited to sell Kali Bears for their walls. I could not find the actual version of the bear - only the revised version where I defaced by adding braces and pimples. Kali wasn't hugely impressed, but I think they liked it.

Save On will also sell Kali Pink and hair extensions, following suit of the stores out here.

Next we hooked up with a friend Kalie, a high achieving charasmatic participant of Red Deer, now resident of GP. She became inspired by the concept, the story and my daughter - now compelled to share in new territory. I remember being mesmorized by how pink had complimented her face, then her hair came off - another wow.

After our enjoyable hook up with Kalie, the movie theatre beckoned us. We needed to decompress. The theatre that hosted Breaking Dawn did not have heat, over an above a draft that caused visible breath and ovaries to shrivel. My full visit to the mens washroom must have been influenced by hypothermia, we opted to change theaters.

Over late supper Jaime's name was dropped and recognized (from her previous career) by a young man who revered her in the highest honor. We all agreed with him that she is very nice (for someone who so prominent). He proudly informed us that he knew her. She did not know him.

I have had this happen to me a few times. Most interesting to have a discussion about yourself with someone who apparently knows you.

Supper was eaten in the car, both of us still thawing from the theatre - unprepared to leave a heated car with a heated seat. Checking into the hotel was kinda fun.

Hotel staff assumed we were a couple. Resembling the movie - pale skin, blue lips, dark circles... we were Bella and Edward. Or maybe it was the discussion about sharing a bed and wanting a jacuzzi?

Hotel room was a tad chilly as well. At 4 am our lips were still blue, we both shivered off the calories we had consumed at supper. By morning - an epiphany.

The big space heater lured our bums over to have a seat atop a blasting surge of heat, Marilyn Monroe style. Did not want to leave our spot for a cold seat in the awaiting vehicle.

Off to Totem Building supplies. Lost and late, thanks G.P.S. (initials now have new application....)

Another success, more paper Kali Bears sold, and a concept launched as a result of a highly engaged participant Paul who's brain child became the pink hard hat campaign.

Speaking of brain child - Kali Bears originated in Jaime's brain years back when McD's launched that in their restaurants.

Now we have grocery, hardware, fast food and pubs selling these.

Kali baby, you are sure getting around.

The ride home was carefree, singing along to itunes and reading aloud Brandi's tweets, and blogs (which are developing some nice flavour and interest). Brandi darling - YOU ARE FUNNY.

Jaime you are a great travelling companion. Brandi you are coming next time!

Grande Prairie, we will visit you again.

Thank you for the enthusiasm and support!

A helpful volunteer

You know, sometimes I wonder what makes a person volunteer. I mean, we're all busy right? Why on earth would we want to give up what precious little time we have, and what's more - not get paid for it?

OK before you start rolling your eyes THIS IS NOT A REQUEST FOR VOLUNTEERS (though that will come in January...).

I'm actually pondering this because across my desk earlier this week came a volunteer application from the spouse of a long-time supporter of HM. The application said she'd like to help pre-and post-event. She's apparently got great admin and organizational skills (which means I already like her and we haven't even met yet). In essence, this amazing woman is saying "What can I do to help you?" just like that. No strings attached - because there are no perks to volunteering in the office. No dilly bars, no chance encounters with celebrities, and not even any pink hair... yet. So, it got me to thinking about how small acts of kindness can make such a difference to another person.

Of course, at this time of year lots of people are thinking they should do more, be more appreciative, and show others compassion. But you know, I get the impression she's just that kind of person and it has nothing to do with the "season".

I've worked with a lot of volunteers in my lifetime. Some do it for the perks. Some do it because it's the "cool" thing to do at a high-profile event. Some do it to get credit at school. Some do it because their companies pay them to volunteer. Some do it so they can teach their children the value of giving to others. Many have come to the realization that sometimes their time really is more valuable to someone than just their money.

So, I am very much looking forward to meeting Sherry this afternoon. I am already grateful for her generous offer of time and an extra pair of hands. I just hope she can count... we'll be doing LOTS of that :)

December!

Holy lightning! How did it get to be December already? I can't hardly believe it's been almost one full year since I joined this crazy team. I do recall telling Nicki to "bring it on - I can handle it". Well, they brought it, alright. And I'm still here.

These days the office (and by that I mean the phone, the email, the texting, meetings, running around) is buzzing. Literally. There are days when I don't think any of us stop to catch our breath. I suspect there are days when we forget to eat/drink/pee... Never mind - that's probably too much information :) I know for a fact there is some thumb-sucking going on in some houses these days.

We are frantically trying to learn the world of social media so we can keep up with Twitter and Facebook. Insert sarcastic "thanks Carmelle" here.There are some of us who don't quite like Twitter yet (me) but I am trying. This old dog can learn new tricks, she just isn't happy about it. Hey - maybe FRED should tweet for me! Some others are pretty good at it (Jaime) and some of us are afraid (Jaime and I) of what the other (Tammy) might tweet about! Follow us @hairmassacure to see if anything embarrasing gets said. Bets anyone?

So, I guess what I'm getting at is this: it's only December 1 and we already have 100 registered particiapnts, 16 teams, just over $10,000 raised, and we're just starting to hit the schools. This 10th Anniversary year is shaping up to be a pretty incredible machine.

If we can keep up with it, that is...

By the way, now that it's December, I can turn on my Christmas lights, right? YAY!!

Happy thoughts everyone!

Hair Massacure crazies

Let me introduce you to the team that has been working strategically on the event since October.

This isn't all of them, we have several planning committee members. These guys put a ton of hours into this project and I love them for it.

You all know Brandi- she is the project coordinator.

She works ethically and is focused, diligent and passionate about process. She also laughs at us a llllll the time and demonstrates an impressive level of patience.

Last week over coffee she nearly came out of her chair (like a Chris Angel levitation) as she described experienced successes in various meetings with our captains nailing down procedures. Her heightened excitement regarding registration details waisted as the signage at Starbucks captures Tammy attention. Mmmmmm... Candycane Mocha...

My brain does not gravitate into those areas of Brandi's passion - I absolutely need her.

Then we have Jaime. Our Project Manager.

Jaime is half Tammy, half Brandi. She LOVES process (one of her strengths), so these two make a great team whilst lost in discussions about budget items and sponsorship details. I'm lost too....

At the same time, Jaime can get sidetracked, and I like that.

Drop a word like "hockey", "Edward" (Twilight), "Coach" (as in the purse), "coupon" (as in extreme couponing), "family / friends" (as in anything to do with), "sick kid", or "McDonald's" (her roots) and she's promptly exited the current conversation to engage in a new one.

Jaime is highly productive and motivated, has ALREADY accomplished miracles and will likely burn out in the next 5 years.

Jaime does not smoke, nor do I - but like our friends here, we do love to pose in a good photo op.

Next we have Christie. I refer to her as Peters. Christie adds a lot of flavour to the event. She is our new volunteer Stylist coordinator (who has replaced the efforts of my lovely daughter Meagan and the infamous Mel). Christie is a take charge kinda gal, highly driven and passionate about all that she believes in. Her sense of humour makes up for the many ribbings endured. If Chris sees a vision - GET OUT OF HER WAY. Christie is Ukrainian, she believes food must play an integral role in all areas of life. The stylists love her already.

Next we have Pat. Pat is our school liaison (coordinator) and appointments diva. Pat has been with us since 2006 (same as Jaime), takes this event very seriously and knows a LOT about HM. Pat says she used to feel afraid and intimidated by me (back in the day when I taught karate) but those days are over. This makes me sad. :(

We like to identify her as the one with the heart on (thats annunciated .... sorta).

Tina is our merch captain. Tina is an expert in the retail industry and gets very excited about our merch (which she has purchased for the last few years on her line of credit). Tina is very driven to find the BEST prices for our participants, I so appreciate that. Tina is a funny girl with a huge heart, typically attached her her funny aunty Donna -with the huge heart. Tina is featured on our home page - the peace symbol. :)

Last we have Darcy. Darcy runs the Red Deer Massacure. I don't have a goofy picture of Darcy YET, but my obvious goal will be to get one in the near future. Fundraising is engrained in Darcy, always room in his hectic schedule to help out a friend our a cause - and always with a smile.

Nicki - my project coordinator for the last couple of years has stayed connected (yay!), however agreed to stay on year round with the River Queen as manager. We miss her, but she's still heavily involved as a planning committee member.

You all know what I do. A bit of everything, often a LOT of everything (certain folks say I could think about doing less of certain things...). I don't like to stay on one subject for too long, lists make me shudder, documents I find painful, counting Im not good at, distracting others Im very good at, I hold a LOT in my memory, I don't take notes, I struggle with delegating (although improving), I hate meetings that don't encourage my stories and I love inspiring people over a small table and a great cup of coffee. Painfully unconventional but somehow it works.

Its funny as I write this blog Im reflecting on what we all have in common.

We all are loopy. We all love to have fun. We all wish to make a difference because:

all of us have endured life altering trauma in our immediate family either by loosing a child / family member, or nursing a child through a disability and or life threatening illness.

Almost all of them have been with me for a minimum of 5 years and typically pink and or shave.

Now when I look at this even closer I realize that most of our planning committee members share this too.

Its true that like attracts like.

I wouldn't give these guys up for the world....

Coffee spills

Remember when Tide sticks came out? I recall thinking "oh, another gimmick".

Thanks to Kali's relentless urging to purchase one, I am forever grateful.

Ive since upgraded to a Tide BRUSH (it comes in industrial sizes) as Ive had a few mishaps over the years.

My first coffee mishap (rescued by the stick) happened on a hot summer day, in white pants at the traffic lights, mocha in hand, avoiding a sneaky left hand turn.

I used almost the entire stick, said thank you to Kali under my breath and set off for my meeting with a wet crotch.

Could have been worse - brown stain makes more of an interesting first impression.

Found a washroom with a hand dryer that you can manipulate - aimed it in the appropriate place and waved sheepishly as the washroom door opened. Had it not been the donor I was going to meet with, Im sure it would have been less intimidating.

A few years ago while meeting with a volunteer I learned that the family was lotto winners..... twice.

As Elaine would do (from Seinfeld) I over demonstrated my astonishment .... "GET OUT!" -

knocked my coffee clear across the table with such speed and force it nearly broke the sound barrier. Tide stick didn't cut it that time.

At a karate tournament, I approached another blackbelt during intermission with the intention of engaging in childish play (while he was trying to eat his lunch). I used one one my "moves" on him - to teach him a lesson for always ambushing me with his "moves".

The plan was only to intimidate by just grazing the skin. I was over zealous and he was drinking a coffee. I roundhouse kicked his coffee clear out of his hand. He competed in a brown Gi. Was really glad we weren't paired to fight.

I met with a vice principal in his office prior to my presentation at a junior high school. Just getting acquainted. He provided me with a coffee. As he spoke behind his desk, I fell into his charming soft spoken voice.

The conversation turned to me as he asked questions about the event.

I got comfortable, real comfortable as if to dazzle him with my really great story. I leaned heavily with intention on my left arm, on the arm of the chair, real cool like - Sue Sylvester face, coffee in left hand.

Should have checked first IF the chair had an arm. I went down, feet and coffee went up.

I don't recall fretting about where the coffee went. I think I might have lost a minute of my life as I must have blocked his reaction. All good. I don't need to remember that.

My most recent coffee episode was a Stollery meeting with our CEO. We shared a coffee at a small coffee shop at a small table. As Jaime was sharing her story, I fumbled around with my lid. Didn't seem to fit.

First 3 sips dribbled down and inside my shirt. 4th sip was the winner.

Time slowed to a halt as I watched frame by frame the cup go down and my java inch its way toward her covering the table.

My instinct was to throw my body onto the large brown pool (like putting out a fire), and be the rescuing sham wow. As I got up to proceed with my plan I felt the warmth. Waist to knees soaked, reached inside the purse. I wish I hadn't dumped 5 sugars in.

I have thought a lot about this and put together an emergency kit, only different than most.

Mine has 12 Tide sticks, towels, paper towels, baby wipes, pants, a shirt, socks, scarf and socks.

Now Im prepared.

Is this relevant to Hair Massacure? Yes and No.

If you - in the future choose to meet with me, bring protection.

Saying farewell to a committed Proud Victim

This weekend we said goodbye to our friend of 9 years - Marlies (better known as the "Telus Queen). Marlies is moving back to the Netherlands and we will miss her.

We met Marlies in 2003, under the clippers at our first Massacre held at Canada Post. Gord had approached her husband who shared this event with his wife who was battling her own illness (Lupus) and experiencing her own hairless. Coupled with her deep love for children, shaving seemed to be a perfect fit.

In the following years Marlies returned with a new title "the Telus Queen", complete with a crown and banner. Her boss accompanied her a couple of times (with a nice juicy cheque) taking the honour of assisting with the shave. Typically Kali would assist with the others as this was a special thing between those two.

Marlies developed a deep fondness for the event, particularly for Miss Kali.

In 2004, I invited Marlies to volunteer for our support group "Families Helping Families" - a monthly fun gathering for fellow cancer families ran by myself and girlfriend Carol.

Marlies loved being surrounded by these kids as she did not have any of her own to care for.

Every month Marlies would return to us at the City Arts Center (where we hosted FHF) and every year she'd find her yearly haircut under the clippers.

In 2007 Marlies hooked up with "Spanky" and joined our event as the first registered duo.

This became the catalyst for implementing teams and canines into our blossoming event.

Marlies concealed Spanky under a blanket in a baby carriage and discreatly wheeled him down past the HMV stage to the cutting area where my daughter Meagan met them both with the shears. A mixture of Marlies hair and grey tufts of fur (off the top of Spankys head) left evidence of what I would encourage for years to follow.

The following year we had registered teams, 3 pink standard poodles (including FRED), a pink bichon, a retriever and a bulldog.

Now rethinking the dog thing at WEM (as this has now caused a few glitches that I did not foresee), I am grateful for Marlies's innovative ideas.

Spanky prompted my invitation of Beamer and Paladin which prompted me to acquire a F.R.E.D. which prompted General (our pink horse), and so forth.

Perhaps this may eventually lead to a "Fur Massacure" .... who know?

Best of luck on your travels Marlies and thank you for your heart.

You will be hugely missed.

Hoofin' in in the malls

I was at WEM yesterday, had a date with Apple. Re-arranged my Saturday to account for some shopping time for the girls while I had my Iphone looked at.

Now I have to say, Apple has been very good to me in terms of quality of product and excellent customer service (free plug there Apple - hint hint)...

I braved the lengthy line-up only to discover that my phone was NOT with me... just as my name was called.

I can feel the beads of sweat collect under the hair line as I negotiate a plan of giving me 5 minutes to hoof it back to my vehicle to collect my device. Apple person seeming unimpressed grants me my 5 minutes and I barrel out of there like a quaterhorse galloping down the crowded halls of WEM, darting between shoppers like I was in an agility competition.

By the time I reach my vehicle (parked way to h - - down to tim buck two), Im so winded I could pass out but thats not an option for me so I proceed to hoof it back, only not so sturdy on my feet.

Im now back in the mall, gasping and weazing and staggering demonstrating a feeble attempt to effectively dart between the shoppers.

I'm so very close.... how could I have seen those little boys sharing a popcorn with all of that going on, focusing on my target. Popcorn in the air was the last thing I saw in my peripheral as I rounded the corner. I guess my purse might have slipped off my shoulder.... the good news is I made it.

Unable to communicate my issue with my technician, I fumble inside my purse to dig out my inhaler and in sign language proceed to indicate that my phone needs servicing. I will get a new phone on Wednesday.

Now Im thinking as I reflect back on this, its not the first time I have taken someone out whilst on the run in a store. I recall a jar of pickles shooting out of an elderly gentlemans hands like a torpedo in Safeway as I blew past him to the dairy section where I in fact caused a pregnant woman to drop a large yogurt as I skidded into base in to collect mine.

Years ago at WEM, I connected with an actor from North of Sixty (TV) rounding the corner near the HMV Stage, and again at WEM near the ICE Palace I knocked Wayne Gretsky's hockey bag clear off his shoulder. Being on the run, quite the inopportune time to apologize before asking for an autograph, I proceeded on.

At the Stollery, with Kali on 4th floor, I would run up and down the stairs as an ideal method of maintaining my karate figure. Eventually that stopped when I blew out the 2 doctors on my acceleration down the 2nd floor. Had they not had their lunch trays in hand I could have squeaked past them.

Then there was the time I face planted the mirrors in Kingsway, and the pole in the parking lot where I chipped my tooth....

So what is the point of this blog? And really what was my message about my last one - the cat?

Nothing profound. Just sharing a day or two in the professional lives behind HM.

Bring your Kid to Work Day

So, it is traditional at this time of year that thousands of grade nine kids go to work with their parents. We, the parents, have decided that it's actually the teachers getting revenge on us because our kids come to their work every day.

So, at the office today we had my daughter Natasha, Jaime's son Tyler, and (because she didn't want to be left out) Tammy's... well... we had FRED. Tammy does not currently have a kid in grade nine so FRED filled in. And was a huge hit as usual.

Between us, we had kids at four different meetings today. They were great - respectful (mostly because they didn't want to talk at all) and probably more than a bit bored, to be honest. I don't know about Tyler, but here are Natasha's thoughts after a day "behind the scenes of Hair Massacure":

• I would probably explode if I had an office job. There is not enough space... I need room to spread out and think
• FRED looks funny when Tammy puts his fur in a ponytail
• Meetings make my head hurt
• Who knew dogs (FRED) could actually burp?
• My mom needs a new computer so she can get her work done instead of waiting... and waiting... and waiting...
• I wish Take Your Kid to Work Day had happened on Massacure day - it's a lot more fun than being in the office

I did feel for the kids; after all it's not all that exciting to sit in meetings that don't concern you (though mini chocolate bars did help), or looking at documents all afternoon. The good thing is that they do have a unique perspective and it was great to see that they do have some critical thinking skills.

I am glad my kid came to work with me - her whole life she has come to events with me, but has never actually seen the "other side" of it - it's not all fun and games and there is a lot of planning involved with events. So, all in all, while she may not be destined for an office job, at least she can say she understands mine a bit more tonight.

I'd be interested to hear Tyler's thoughts on the day - they were headed to a meeting with a sponsor who also had his kid with him today. I wonder how they did?

And on that note, I'd like to thank the teachers for forcing our kids into what we condescendingly call "the real world", and I will thank Tammy, Cathy, Paul, Bryce, Carmelle, and all the other people who welcomed grade nine's into their workday today. It was a neat experience :)

Hello Everyone from your new Project Manager

Hello Fellow Massacure Lovers!!!!

My name is Jaime Caza and I have recently joined the Massacure team as the new Project Manager. I am very excited to meet all of you! Although I have been around the Massacure for several years now and consider many of you really good friends! I would like to take this opportunity to tell you a little about myself. I am married to my best friend Mike who I met when I was only 16, we have been together ever since. We are parents of three children, two dogs and one fish. My son Tyler is 14 , my daughter Kailey is 11, and our youngest daughter Sydney is 10. Our two dogs are Lisa, she is a 14 yr old retired greyhound, and Buddy our 4 yr old golden retriever, the fish.... has no name. I have been so blessed with a wonderfully supportive family and many very good friends. My favourite colour is purple and you will see me in this colour often (of course pink is a runner-up). I love McDonald's coffee (two milks thanks!) and I have not yet met a potato chip that I won't enjoy. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a "Twilight" fanatic and Taylor Swift's biggest fan.

Most importantly, I am so excited to join the Hair Massacure team and I can't wait to see you all at the event as we work towards the goal of this 10th Anniversary event being the biggest yet!

I would like to share my story of the first time I experienced the Hair Massacure. It was 2006 and I was working for McDonald's as the Community Relations Representative. We sponsored this event by providing some food for the volunteers and I wanted to go to the mall and check out the event. We had banners and many other obligations to meet regarding the event organizers and McDonald's. I was waiting for the kick off to begin and I was not sure what to expect. That is when I saw something so profoundly amazing happening, I knew INSTANTLY that this event would change me. This was the best I had ever seen . What I saw was hundreds of children supporting other children who were battling Cancer. This was such a beautiful way to help each and it took my breath away. Hundreds of pink haired children marched proudly towards the staging area ready to shave it all off. Boys and girls with long locks of hair , their teacher's and parents all pinked out and preparing to follow through on their commitment. I just couldn't believe they were shaving heads! It was fantastic! In unity they began, girls were braiding their hair to donate. The beautiful locks of blonde and brown hair would soon be wigs for children suffering with hair loss. What impacted me the most was all the pink heads and proud little faces. The school was bursting with energy and pride as they had raised an enormous amount of money to benefit charities. I knew on a personal level that I was joining in some how and I still thank God for that day.

How would I know then that this would eventually lead me down this path. I can assure you this impacted me to my core. Those adorable kids were not able remove their friends pain or help ease the sickness but, they WERE able to represent what cancer cannot achieve, no matter how strong it is … THE JOY OF BEING LOVED. That day during the Hair Massacure THE KIDS WON!

I am a Stollery frequent flyer Mom, I am Wish Mom and I have been first hand witness to what Ronald McDonald House does to help their families. My daughter has been a recipient for the charities and that gives me a first hand understanding of how important these charities are and a hunger to serve and build this event to its highest potential. Thank you to Tammy and Brandi who have really opened up their arms and embraced me. A special call out to Brandi who now has another ADHD brain to work with! HERE WE GO!

The cat

For those of you who dont know, my oldest daughter (Meagan) recently married and I am the luckiest mother-in-law out there. Steven is the bees knees (even though he's an American, but as Kyrsti said - we can work around that.. :)

This past week my kids went on a well deserved honeymoon to Maui. (I say well deserved as they are both gems, and its hard pressed to find finer young people who just give and give).

Anyhoo, as they disappeared into the land of bliss, we took Meagan's cat (Sassy) - the other love of her life.

I am a happily retired cat owner. My last cat took me out of the game, and now Mel has her (blessings to Mel for rescuing me), but I love miss Sassy even though she looks grumpy and bites noses. Looking after this cat is quite the endeavour. If I loose her, Megs will KILL me. If the dogs stress her, not good - so we are very cautious when she is in our care.

Yesterday was their return day so I wanted Sassy to be back at home to greet Megs on her arrival. I planned extra early to collect Sassy, litter box and things so as not to be late for my lunch meeting.

As I am carefully loading yucky litterbox into my vehicle, I see Sassy on the driveway. Heart in throat, I proceed to gently call her " oh sassy".... Im sure she felt my pulse racing. Of course she would bolt (that what cats do...)

I followed her to the park, praying and keeping calm so I can sneak up and pounce on her.

Ever so close... she waits until Im just grazing the top of her back and she bolts again. This time there is no "oh sassy" business ... %#@*&% CAT

Run home uttering vocabulary highly unsuitable for my neighbourhood, jump in the car, 2 wheels around the corner - I find her halfway to the next park.

Like a cheetah stalking a baby gazelle, I tippy-toe to the mound of fur hiding in the grass and I pounce. Success!

Now how does one deal with an angry Edward scissorhands - loading THAT into a vehicle successfully without loosing their eyes? And whats the deal with these claws - I KNOW Mandy just trimmed those down. My carefully laid out plan is to throw her in like a frisbee and let go very quick as I shut the door. Like throwing a velcro ball, cats tend to stick onto the area they land on, so the head rest it is then.

Im feeling pretty smug. Megs doesnt have to know about this and Im sure my friend will forgive me for being late for lunch.

Return home, carefully slip out of vehicle, pop back in to get my purse and meow. Miss Sassy in the house already to go.

I have someones else's cat.

SO I get rid of cat #1 to make room for cat # 2, who spiderwebs as Im loading her (likely the smell of cat # 1 set her off).

I proceed to drive off and become distracted by the scritching noise in the back.

I slam on the brakes - thump. Sassy falls off headrest. Leather and cats not good mix.

Im late, and in the negotiating process of "do I return home and reload cat into old car" or will she settle down and just lay there like a nice cat. I opt to keep going....

Spread out my jacket for her to lay on (which is a HUGELY nice gesture on my part as Im allergic to her) stroke her fur (not so gentle this time) and proceed to drive off again.

A little further down the road Sassy bolts for the back .... scritch scratch scritch scritch on Tammy's nice new seats. Climbing back up not working out so well, no traction.

Plant foot on brakes again, Sassy sinks her nails IN so as to avoid another plunk. Pull a u-turn to proceed back home causing her to make half a dozen turns around the headrest.

We switched vehicles. I was late for my lunch, but my story more than made up for it.

I havent checked my nice new leather seats yet, dont think I want to.

Whats the morale of the story? Cat carrier.

2012 Promo video

Well folks I am thrilled to say that the DVD is FINALLY done!

I use this little 9 minute video to showcase our event, particularly at schools or for various teams / workplaces and also displayed on our website.

In past, a coworker of Gord (Joe - at Canada Post) created 2004-05.

Following and up to current, I have recruited talent to pull divine creations out of my thoughts (that really aren't mine).

Up until last year, Amy Cornet and my daughter Kyrsti have extracted a vision and endured my plentiful and persistent edits and skillfully displayed beautiful moments of our history.

THIS year, my Dusty took this project on (God love him) and I shall proudly say.... he did a fine job. :)

At some prophetic moment over the last 6 summers (while I'm driving) I will literally "see" the video. It comes all at once - the songs, the pictures, the atmosphere. Then I go home and make it happen before I forget.

Like many of these hairbrained ideas, I take little ownership as they are given to me. Ive just learned to pay attention to what's a Tammy idea and a God inspired idea.

I cant argue with an inspired idea, it simply works and we dont mess with it. I'll fight for it to the bitter end and historically this has caused some heated arguments over certain areas of this event.

My own ideas are negotiable. Sometimes I can hit one out of the park on my own, others take harsh ribbings from certain folks (you know who you are...)

This years video did not come this summer. It was worrisome.

I had to start from scratch, with a basic idea of an anniversary theme, but no vision.

I procrastinated, and eventually pulled ideas out of my -- until it finally came this month. I panicked as I realized that Kyrsti has a ridiculous schedule like mine.

I thought of Dusty and he enthusiastically said YES (that was before he knew what he was dealing with...).

The anniversary video is not high tech. Like the others, I am not too concerned about looking professional - Im focused on reaching the people. Its homemade, grassroots and the message brings it home.

Next 10 years, Jaime can take over the creative and Im good with that. I have officially run out of hospital pics of Kali and other young survivors (pics taken that once were frowned upon) were used for this. Interesting looking back...

Poor Dusty, each facebook post, text and tweet reflected "YAY - its DONE!".

Heheheh, my daughters warned him - when I say "sweet - you're done" - this means I will edit it another 3-4 times before our next viewing when it's done.

So its done.... Unless I hit the pillow and realize that I forgot to send a certain pic, or found a certain pic, or that Dusty could shave off a fraction of a second off something so I can add another something.

Dusty if you are reading this - just burn the DVD's man - dont answer your phone, dont open your email.

I'll tell ya. I could not deal with a me. I'd strangle it.

We Libra's really should be punished for a lifetime of changing our minds for the sake of balancing ourselves and everything around us.

I'll betcha 5 minutes after I hit "publish" on this blog, I will edit it.

Then I'll shut down laptop, pee .... and edit again. My head will hit the pillow, and just as I sink into the memory foam, Ill make my way in the dark, trip over a dog and ...you get where Im going.

I shall be posting on website as soon as DVD's are in hand (Thank you DJ FISH!) and notifying the schools that presentations are ready to go. :)

Have a good night folks.

Some Ritalin with my coffee please?

Today we had a HM meeting at Peters house (this would be crazy Christie's) and "we" would be Jaime, Brandi and myself.

Christie has just been recruited to be our full on stylist coordinator (who shall relieve the past responsibilities of my lovely daughter Megs, and offer support to our 2 dedicated captains Mel and Sam).

Christie may be a character, but she takes her roles very seriously (and I'll tell you this was the case this morning). She was on a mission and you dont mess with her when she's got that goin on.

Chris had all of her notes piled up and was adamant in getting to ALL of them.

Jaime sat across from her, new stages of learning the language of "Apple" on my old macbook (which is now her "new" laptop). Its missing a key and the little wheel just spins and spins.

Brandi sat next with pen in hand in a mad scramble to document and organize the ADHD conversation that billowed around her.

Her laptop weighs a hundred pounds and was built in the 80's. The occasional poof of smoke that came off her pen indicated that this was quicker than a keyboard.

Christie insisted that I stay focused... on 14 things, meanwhile Jaime is texting me across the table (as I am clearly not responding to her).

Reviewing piles of notes - NOT my favorite thing ... I decide to escape to the coffee and fixin's in Christies kitchen. That gave me about a minute of reprieve before the chains secured me back down.

I have reviewed the pledge packages more times this year than EVER before, its exhausting for a girl like me.

Please peeps find a new way to torture me, make me count money instead or how about lick stamps?

As I sat cuffed to the table I realized that I was not alone. I always knew I had these friends afflicted with the same traits as I, only today .... not so much. I couldn't keep up.

Having taken my pill this morning, I realized I was struggling.

It was like I was put outside myself so as to appreciate what my kids have weathered their whole lives, what Brandi and Nicki have endured. Its a LOT to process in one haul.

I looked over at Brandi and thought "how is she keeping up... and she's GOOD".

She's not even crying or chewing the skin off her hands.

Brandi, I gotta tell ya, it takes talent to organize these whirlwinds. Your sense of humour well in tact, youre golden girlfriend.

Meanwhile Christie has a vision for her area, I think she's owning that quite well. Im blown away actually. Chris and Jaime have been with me for 5 /6 years - enthusiastically and passionately.

Jaime is creating a sponsorship request - in Mac language, and addressing her points fighting for air time with Peters. I cant keep up with Jaime either.

Tammy called to task to hopefully approve a hundred ideas and edits.

After 2 1/2 hours, I left Christies with an urgent need to crash a buffet and put my face under a chocolate fountain.

Having shared, I have to admit we got a LOT accomplished.

Im very lucky to share this event with these levels of talent and enthusiasm.. and PASSION.

I do however think a sponsorship of Ritalin might be in order....

Getting going

Jaime survived her first week with us and away from a very familiar McDonalds Corporate restaurants.

I knew that it was going to be an easy transition bringing in a project manager who was so well acquainted and knowledged with HM. I believe the level of training Jaime will receive will equal the learning we will receive from her (she's a bit of a firecracker).

Last December Miss Brandi - (aka - Secretariat) hit the ground running. (She's not so fond of her nick name but its true...) There is certainly no ease time with this event.

After these 5 punchy days, I reflected on my drive home Friday (from a lengthy session of torturous checklists, potential sponsorships and the implementing of heightened social media) I realized I had blinked in probably a good hour.

I believe we acquired 2 new sponsorships this week. I wont reveal yet until confirmed but my insides are all squiggly. After a successful exciting event, I go through a period of shock or disbelief (likely because Im used to jumping through a million hoops first).

Dont sleep, want sugar, no blinking, somewhat catatonic - really messes me up until I process my excitement.

The last sponsorship meeting was with a social media company. It was Friday mid morning and Brandi had previously put us to task combing over the pledge packages.

Anyone that knows myself (and Jaime) knows that we have a limited attention span on just one item, so Brandi was put to the challenge to keep us focused.

It was Friday and I was in a Tammy mood. Luckily I met another crazy like myself (lets call this soul sister, ummm Carmel), and it was awesome that she got me, otherwise it might not have worked out.

Friday afternoon was all checklists, oh I no like those dreadful things.

I entertain myself by counting the 'looks" over the glasses received from Brandi.

On the good side, she laughs and lets me throw in an anecdote every 30 minutes or so - its like recess.

Thank to her strengths - being organization, checklists, combing documents we are further along than we've ever been. Mot my forte, that's just plain torture. I do do it and can do it, but it knocks out my mojo.

In the same room as Jaime, I realized I can easily recruit a partner in crime to attempt to distract Brandi. Hehehehe. I know exactly how far I can push before I sober up and grab a coffee.

When her eyebrows stretch above her glasses, its time to check back in. Its actually a Godsend that we have someone that focused in the group.

Nevertheless, Im thinking Brandi should bring us treats for good behaviour and effort. Maybe she could leverage her efforts.... or not.

I figured out this dynamic - Brandi is Yang, I am Yin and Jaime is both (chi).

She has the love for check lists, procedure but its so easy to get funny story out of her like nobody's business, and sway her off topic ('cause the old one became boring).

Now, even IF Brandi brings treats, let us have recess - once we incorporate social media (like Twittering) could be interesting to maintain our attention spans. The new plan might be to forfeit our phones and purses to the big grey bin prior to any future meetings.

Our first week with Jaime - a success, but its gonna be busier due to new implemented ideas and plans.

I am bringing Fred's doggy bed with me to Make-A-Wish so I can curl up and suck my thumb during those upcoming "Hey! Lets do this... moments".

Kidding aside, Im feeling good about this year.

Its a little belated - Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Check in soon!

Moes Poker / Bike Rally

Moe Duvall is a Hair Massacure fundraising enthusiast.

Weve had the pleasure of having his involvement for the past 4 years.

This weekend Gord and I attended Moe's Motorcycle and Poker Rally at R Pub in Castle Downs.

We were in awe of his efforts and creativity.

Moe had 100 bikes in attendance, along with a little girl (Emma) who donated her hair in support of the sick kids (even though she herself has a rare blood disorder which parallels Leukaemia) and our first Proud Victim of the year!

Moe has a young nephew that has conquered 2 different cancers twice. He's invested. He melted in Emmas presence.

Breakfast was provided by the pub at 10:30 following registration (25.00 per head - all clear cash to the cause).....then Moe delivered his speech.

I feel its important to include that THIS man was quite nervous being the M.C. - the same man who dolled up as a woman and sold his fake nails at the bar one year (all for the kids), proudly wears CRAZY pink hair (as a biker and business owner), and chose to wear a pink wig ALL day yesterday. Another year he raised 10,000 one year in a huge coffee can at the bar.

Gord and I were warmly greeted by all of his participants and sponsors. They fed us breakfast, and invited me back with the girls for supper. Enjoyed sneaking my 14 year old daughter into a pub, but the highlight was their awesome homemade burger. Had to unhinge my jaw to eat it. All food provided and donated by R Pub. Moe seems to be quite popular with his peeps.

Now on a separate note, it was a little tugging for me to watch all those bikes roar by. I want a bike, have wanted one since the day I was thrown off (as a passenger) and run over by the car. Not sure why that inspired me to ride, took 2 years to heal from that boo boo.

So I'm putting it out into the universe. If our creator foresees that Tammy will will get another boo boo from riding, then Im hoping he will prevent me from acquiring one (likely through the bank that wont loan me the money). The other factor is that Im 5 ft tall. (actually gained half inch from the accident) - I may not even fit one - unless I ask a Shriner about one of the wee ones they ride in parades.

Not sure what Moes final total will be from his first annual September riding event, but Im anxious to find out.

Will update you on his success!

Thank you Moe, for everything you do!

New to our team

It is with great excitement that I announce a new addition to our team - Jaime Caza.

Jaime will be our Project Manager and is taking on a huge role as I pass some of my personal responsibilities to her. She shall be representing me in the front line in many areas so that I can breathe a bit better and have time for effective strategic planning. Im not leaving my role entirely, you will still see me, but hopefully not with my hair straight back - that will be Jaime -lol.

Jaime is actually not new to HM. She's been with us in the sponsor role for 6 years (as our "Big Cheese" from McDonalds Corporate Restaurants), a fundraiser for 5 years (initiating as Team Hope) and as a volunteer for 4 years. Last year Jaime took on a huge role as our volunteer coordinator which required many extra hours coordinating our few hundred volunteers.

In my recent post titled "Im back", I alluded to passing my hat to a certain someone that I had wished for and prayed about for the past few years. Well it came true.

I really dont know how the stars lined up, but I definitely know why. It was part of a greater plan.

On Friday Jaime signed on with us and said a very difficult goodbye to her position as C.R. for McDonalds (of 20 years). This decision was incredibly daunting as she has worked her way up, in charge of over 2200 employees, all corporate restaurants in N.A. Jaime has remained faithful to her commitments, however her heart has beckoned her over to something familiar she wholeheartedly believes in. She, like myself (and all of our HM Peeps) wants to use her position to make a difference in the lives of kids.

Jaime is also a Wish Mom. She has shared a similar journey with her daughter living in fear and prayer. Her fears are still in the forefront - in fact it was my last post (A Happy Outcome) that reflected a recent incident with Kailey.

Paired with in-debth experience pertinent to the position and an outstanding work ethic - Jaime is a perfect fit... and it helps that she's FUN.

Now some more good news for me. I can stop sucking up to her (as my biggest sponsor) and she'll have to start sucking up to me 'cause I'll be her boss (and I might just try and have some fun with that...).

Brandi shall have some work cut out familiarizing Jaime with the impressive HUGE binder that she developed over the summer organizing this beast.

We have not had an opportunity to have a Brandi to extract years of info from Tammys brain and revamp past documents, dont know how she tore though all of that and made it look sexy. Great job on that Brandi, and thumbs up on some brilliant strategies!

Think its coming together....

My goal this year - no thumb sucking in the fetal position.

A HAPPY OUTCOME

My last post on thursday was long overdue. It reflected hidden struggles this past year, and my involvement with Hair Massacure.

Just as I finished and hit "publish" I received a disturbing text.

My friend who was at the Taylor Swift concert with her 2 daughters was now in an ambulance on the way to Stollery with her older daughter. Her o2 dangerously low, she was blue. This is a unfortunate and familiar occurrence in this family. They were only 2 songs in when the episode happened.

Kailey is my wish child, and her mom Jaime is a very dear friend, volunteer and sponsor of Hair Massacure.

I have a soft spot for this girl and her family. Her story is phenomenal because Kailey does NOT present as a child with life threatening conditions. She plays hockey and lives life to considerable normalcy (for a girl with lung disease who cannot drink as liquids are fatal for her). Her attitude (her spirit) strikes me as her saviour (next to her family) - a common trait seen in these children whose mortality stares at them in the face.

On Tuesday we learned that 3 children passedon from one of our charities this week. Really brings it home, the harsh reality of a situation that could be your own.

My friend filled with trepidation as she prayed in the ambulance, like many times before.

There is a happy ending however (to this story)....

Learning about the concert nightmare, and feeling my friends heart break as she texted in the hospital prompted a phone call to a friend from CISN, my sponsor of 6 years.

Chris Sheetz, being the warm heart he is, put in a few calls and the result was a call back to me from Rexall. My angelic contact there was moved by the story and made magic happen.

Kailey, mom and little sis would get to meet Taylor after a second opportunity to see her performance.

The next day, I received a phone call from Miss Kailey. She was trying to say thank you, but the tears won that conversation. HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY was the picture emailed of Taylor with Jaime, Kailey and Sidney. HUGE smiles.

I also took note of the fact that Taylor is almost a foot taller than all of them! Not the first time I have heard how nice Taylor Swift is.

My only disappointment was the confiscation of the Kali Bear that was to be presented to her at the meet and greet.

So back to normal?? Sure hope so... at least for a while.

I'm back

Hi folks, I've missed connecting with all of you. It's been several months, but the words simply were not there.

Forgive me if I jump around, I'm struggling a bit with where to start.

First off, I'm proud to share that my lovely daughter Meagan was married in July. A chip off the old block - she planned with annoying precision and ownership as I referred to her as "Bridezilla". The result - BEST wedding EVER! Oh we had so much fun, not a boring moment.

I also have the best son-in-law anyone could hope for. Steven - you are warmly welcomed by many. Highlight of my summer!!

4 days later, my invincible dad had a massive heart attack. 4 days later - my Grammas 90th birthday celebration. A bit of a rollercoaster.

I also traded in the MassaCAR (My billboard Van). I struggled with it, but it was time, and we were missing our privacy. I'd like to thank Mayfield Toyota for your support through the years.

Wedding aside, and million dollars aside - its been a difficult year, Im not gonna sugar coat it, so here it is.....

Last Summer I fell ill with exhaustion and incurred a few "Tammy type" injuries - needless to say this slowed me to an abrupt halt. I had time to reflect, feel worried and stressed about managing upcoming chaos.

By September when HM abruptly kicked in and all my fears came to fruition, I was on the ground running.

As Christmas approached I was into my first week of stress leave and by Jan 5, I was on the ground running again - on 5 different medications. My ticker took a licking.

I struggled with sharing my situation with most of the folks in my life as I found it embarrassing that a seasoned herbalist would have resort to such desperate measures.

I also set an unnatural standard for myself that I could not show weakness, and any of my human flaws would be only displayed as humorous anecdotes.

By the end of February I was filled with such exhaustion that I could not effectively manage my headspace.

I continued to stuff emotions until I hit depression, and even that I hid. Meanwhile

event follow up tore at my insides as I became aware of every little hiccup that occurred on Feb 13.

Desperate efforts to avoid hiccups in fall and winter, strategic planning was not bullet proof.

For some reason my unrealistic goals of perfection cannot foresee error, nor except it when it happens. This is my recent admission to myself.

400 volunteers, 1,800 participants, 250 VIP's and entertainers and 3 charities - how could one not expect glitches.

I talk about it like I was prepared for it. Emotionally I cannot deal with letting anyone down in any capacity whether Im directly responsible or not. This is one of my demons, and I have accepted that I have a long way to go before it goes away.

By April, I came to a painful realization - I approached the charities and asked them to take over Hair Massacure.

I knew I could no longer tackle the beast, particularly as a single mom. I could not manage the enormity of the pressures I felt. I was spent and desperate to live a life of normalcy.

The charities kindly agreed. I am certain they saw this day coming.

I cannot put into words how guilty and embarrassed I felt for giving up.

I was letting so many down, including myself and my family. What would I say to my peeps, our team?

What are my kids thinking - are they disappointed? How do I address myself in future - "Tammy the who????"

I was going to loose my identity. I was now the mom who walked out.

All summer I worked with Brandi creating documents, extracting everything about HM that I stored in my head and in various journals.... mostly in my head - 9 years worth.

For the first time I felt comfortable and ready to relinquish it all, almost like I was harbouring this well kept secret.

The haunting question lingering over my head all of these months - WHO would replace me?

I had no intention of leaving (just so were clear). My plan to linger in the background in an advisory role, continuing on as the ambassador (along with the rest of the fam).

I have had thoughts in past, much like us parents pondering who would take their children in the event they were abruptly yanked off the earth - it was much the same. WHO would take our baby?

I wont go as far as to divulge, however I have thought a lot about that and in the past few months have said many a prayer over it.

With the shock of my dad's recent massive heart attack, efforts of trying to sell my house (due to annoying reoccurring intrusions) and the "WHO" hanging over my head, I came to a place of acceptance that the lessons attached to these events were intended for personal growth.

A balance of fighting for what you need and letting go of what you cannot control has been extremely difficult, but the point has been received.

I am ending this blog with this message - Unless the aliens beam me up, or I get hit by a truck (again), Im not going anywhere. I will strive to find balance between surrendering and executing.

I am coming to peace with my work and on Feb 3, I will be exactly where I need to be - beside another "Tammy", and hopefully not running with hair straight back.

As Brandi mentioned in her post - This is our 10th ANNIVERSARY. It HAS to be special.

Some of you may have noticed the positing for this position - I hope this provides a better understanding. Will keep you all updated on who that shall be when all interviews have been completed.

God works in mysterious ways. I am praying for success.