I proudly choose to support one in my fundraising, a very good one in fact - but over the years I have arrived at that point where I no longer have the coping skills to take Kali to her appointments, visit patients, or even enjoy a coffee or food within the vicinity of a hospital. Years ago, my girlfriend Carol and I ran a family support group for Kids With Cancer. We were good at it, and enjoyed this connection, often visiting the cancer kids at the Stollery. Nowadays a little bald head puts my guts are in a severe twist. My friend too - both of us -an emotional mess.
Not sure why this has happened so many years after Kali's treatment.
Somehow we managed to get through those 3 years of treatment, as well as those 2 other daughters in ICU battling their own life threatening thing..... why now?
Two weeks ago I did rounds with Beamer (mentor for FRED - Stollery Therapy dog), and his owner Neil (who has visited Peds Oncology unit every Tuesday for the past 10 years). This was an occasion I was very much looking forward to, thinking more about the dog part and less about the hospital part. Once I arrived, I realized I needed to leave. My future plans for FRED now....somewhat altered.
I have spent these past two days in two hospitals with two loved ones. Tests for Kali (day 1 - educated about the residual effects and irreparable damage due to chemotherapy), day 2- a traumatic collapse leading to a 911 call and loss of vitals. This occurred in my arms. Both situations ended with a happy ending, however this has convinced me that I have lost my coping skills.
I have spent these past two days in two hospitals with two loved ones. Tests for Kali (day 1 - educated about the residual effects and irreparable damage due to chemotherapy), day 2- a traumatic collapse leading to a 911 call and loss of vitals. This occurred in my arms. Both situations ended with a happy ending, however this has convinced me that I have lost my coping skills.
Why am I throwing this out in a blog? (I am sure you would much prefer the papercut story....)
The Hair Massacure, an event we strive to make fun and exciting - is held for sad reasons. Reasons that parents never quite get over.
For parents that fundraise, we appreciate the fact that you folks out there listen. Our story resinates with us daily, lowering the tolerance we once had that initially brought us through the crisis with our children.
To know the real story, from most of us parents - you may never. Feels too painful to tell.
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