Oct 31, 2002 it all began - Humble beginnings of Hair Massacure.
The afternoon of halloween became the catalyst of what would be a movement that would
change our lives forever.
Kali's counts were safe this beautiful fall day for an outing to Walmart - a trip for last minute costume shopping.
it was a good day, no a great day - an outing with a comfortable little girl sporting a smile - this became my new luxury.
I popped Miss Kali into the cart and off we went in search of a witches wig.
Bombing around the store felt free and fun, like a field trip.
Outings were never taken for granted as typically Kali's immune system would not have enough juice to fight outside exposures (a common lifestyle for the cancer patient).
Recalling the previous Halloween with a swollen 3 year old, pumped up on steroids and pain killers, there was little cause to celebrate.
A perfect wig chosen, placed atop my daughter's cute little head, we headed for the till.
Going through, I noticed the wig was blemished as pieces were falling out. A return to the wig isle, i noted that all of the wigs were falling apart, an obvious sign of their price markdown.
Tugging at the last wig, my heart sunk. I felt my chest cave, it was hard to breathe. A panicked realization indicated that the wigs were just fine.
Consumed with shock I tugged at my daughters hair. I froze as though chilled to the bone as the piece stayed in my hand.
I looked down intuitively knowing I'd see more clumps laying at the wheels of my cart. Apparently hair loss is possible sometimes during the last few months of treatment. I didn't understand at the time.
The shock on my face could not be revealed. it was Kali's day today. No pain, decent counts, and energy to spare to properly celebrate Halloween ... it felt like a form of punishment for having this blessing.
It took everything I had to hide the fact that her hair was falling out again.
Despite my efforts, I don't think I could have concealed it very well.
I phoned Gord, struggling for the numbers in the dial pad and proceeded to tell him.
I needed to hear his voice. I could hear him choke behind his words "it will be ok".
It wasn't ok the first time it happened.
Reflecting on our little girl's previous devastation, we had witnessed the long lasting effects of the destruction of a 2 year old's self esteem. Tears with each reflection in the mirror, suspicion with every smile towards her indicated to her, a mockery of her bald head.
Kali's new hair was at now her shoulders, flecks of gold riveting though natural blonde highlights and beautiful curls proudly tousled around as she walked. She was so proud to feel so pretty again.
When Gord returned home from work, he had put some serious thought into how to make the most out of this 3rd bout of hairless.
Being an optimist, his plan would not erase her reaction, but his hopes were that it might offer a productive celebration in her name.
He would host a headshave at his place of work (Canada Post). It would be a fundraiser for Kids With Cancer Society and it would be in honour of our Kali. He was excited.
He coined it the "St. Valentine's Day Hair Massacre". I LOVED it! EVERYONE loved it!
What a brilliantly fun play on words.
The name and concept caught on and lured 48 people from the postal plant and friend from our karate school. Nadine Brokenshire (Gord co-worker, and eventually dear friend) was the first female victim that Gordon strategically coerced to shave. He then cleverly used Nadine's participation to play me.
I was not going to fall for his tricks. I was NOT shaving my head. I would help, but my hair was staying as the mere thought of it scared you know what out of me.
Gordon can sell snow to an eskimo.
His clever statement that this "Nadine person" who had bravely signed up doesn't even have any children - was the noose around my neck.
Colourful language promoted a wide grin of satisfaction. I wanted to punch him but both of us were so well conditioned as blackbelts, it wouldnt have made an impact, so instead I called my best friend Claire to vent.
Claire lost little Meagan the year before at the young age of 14 months. She was still in mourning.
In contrast to her pain, Claire was also high spirited and quite a character, so the idea of shaving heads seemed fun to her.
"I'll do it!!" was her response. Oh excellent..... I was losing my hair.
With God's grace, Kali's hair fell out in the most inconspicuous areas.
To our surprise, all of the hair around her crown area fell out leaving long layers overtop to cover the patches.
From the back and side it was barely visible, from her reflection in the mirror - concealed. With barrettes and hair pins, we were able to keep our Kali completely unaware..
Planning was very energetic, this turn of events was right up Gordon's alley.
Cell glued to his cheek, clipboard in hand Gord was recruiting and inspiring. The post office was very supportive of his new distraction.
Gord had our little printer smokin', reloading after his shifts and throughout the middle of the night.
We incurred all of the expenses that were not donated while living on a deficient income for a family of 6, in bankruptcy.
We had both lost our previous incomes due to Kali's treatment.
Gordon's business crashed as he prioritized precious and uncertain time with our daughter.
Shifts in the rocking chair was necessary as morphine did not seem to touch the pain that consumed our baby. Money was sparse, we were still being supported by the community and family donations but this was fundraiser was important.
My role was minimal in the first years.
I invited my friend and fellow karate student - Stacey Abdella to help us with the shave. Stacey recruited co-worker Shauna Buist from Spasation (Stacey and Shauna are still with us).
My involvement seemed to fall mostly on the marketing side, creating visual materials (posters, etc) to entice folks to support or participate and enticing the papers to write about it.
Headshaves were common, it was a challenge to market this one as special.
It all seemed divine, falling into place. In retrospect I KNOW it was, and continues to be.
All of the pictures I had taken during Kali's treatment came in handy, the controversial ones reflecting her pain in particular.
I did not care whom I offended at the time I pulled out my camera, I captured EVERYTHING.
I was not about to show the world what my daughter went through with rose coloured glasses. This was our reality. This was around us all day, every day - in all 14 rooms at Ped Oncology in the Stollery and Cross Cancer.
I raised a few thousand that year. Insulted by any pledges under 100.00, I would not settle for less.
I was deathly scared to lose my hair and 20 bucks was not going to make me feel better.
Gordon did well with his pledges too. Like I said, it's difficult to say "no" to this man.
Media came to our headshave. Steve Antel hosted from Breakfast television. He was spectacular! I will never forget his infamous line of "Begin the shaving, yes indeed!".
14 rocking chairs were donated to us (thanks to the tireless efforts of a recruited co-worker and crazy newfie -Derrick). The chairs were showcased in an assembly line pulled by a forklift as seen in our 2012 video on our website.
Gordon was after cash. I was after chairs, as we only has 2 to share among 14 rooms in Peds Oncology. We both got our wish.
37,000 was raised that day, Our shave was 2 hours long.
Nadine lead the shave, Steve shaving her on BT. Gordon was in the middle, I was at the end .... won't say what I was doing in my pants.
Kali assisted with both our shaves as her tiny self stood on a stool with clenched hands wrapped around the clippers, Stacey supporting her.
This started a long tradition of inviting cancer kids to participate in the shaves. She LOVED it. A renewed association with a bald head, we could see that it was healing for her.
My turn. I knew I could run faster than those clippers but there was no escaping ... I was doing this.
My daughter behind me, I tilted my head back so she could reach and just let it happen. I was forever changed.
I can't explain the feeling that overtook the fear, but I would best describe it as indescribable satisfaction.
I was glad that Gord worked me, he needed to. I needed to do this and my daughter needed to see me support her.
With energized excitement, it was my turn to shave Claire. She wasn't afraid, Claire was a daredevil.
I loved the feeling of running the clippers though her hair. I found her screams exciting and fun.
Little did I realize I was burning her scalp with scalding clippers. I guess that was kinda fun too.
The "strawberry birthmark" on the back of her head apparently was not natural pigment. This too is captured in our 2012 video as she shouts my name.
37 Proud Victims gathered for the first and only fully captured photo, sporting black embroidered toques donated to us by Elite Sportsware.
The cash was counted with help and proudly turned into Kids With Cancer Society. A new plan for next year already in place.
Who would have known how our lives would change.
Thanks to our founder,Gord the St.Valentine's Day Hair Massacre was a success.
The name, the feeling, the connection in the room. We all felt it.
More history as follows:
St.Valentine's Day Hair Massacre reunited in Canada Post with larger followings.
2004 brought forth 98 Proud Victims, 98,000.00 and a new blanket warmer for Peds Oncology (a necessity for children on chemo enduring bouts of chills). There was no agreement from our chosen charity to purchase this much needed item (valued at 5,000) from our near 100,000 handed in so I proceeded to petition with 100 signatures of Oncology parents.
A blanket warmer was purchased along with an agreement to budget an additional 7,000 for a support group that I would run with close friend and fellow parent Carol Dizak.
This year I sat as a parent liaison with the Kids With Cancer Society.
To be honest, I did not feel as though I belonged with this group however we needed a parent to act on behalf of the needs of the parents, so I "slipped" myself in there for a short spell (long enough to stir the pot and collect some necessary items on the lists of the parents and nursing staff).
It was my first introduction to a board, which ultimately shaped the development of our current committees (which I will add are more personal and casual - not right or wrong, just my personal preference).
Gord, hard at work again recruiting proud victims and sponsorships for t-shirts, toques, and posters.
Our home became very busy in these winter months planning for these little "Massacre's", still supported by family dime, family time.
Again, good friends and co-workers Jill, Nadine and Derik joined forces with Gordon to help plan, solicit goods and count money.
Extended family members gathered in our basement combing over simple pledge forms and counting piles of money laid out on our livingroom floor. Bridget Ryan became our host this year on Breakfast Television and Stacey returned with Shauna and more stylists from Spasation.
Next- our daughter Kyrsti, she was close to Tims age (roughly 8) She would jump at this as it in her character to see a vision and support it.
Derik braved the cold February and slept in a tent for a week with a 10,000 goal to release him from the elements. Food was donated to keep him nourished and increased publicity created over his creativity.
2005 was a difficult year as we were also focused on our 2nd oldest daughter's health issues (Mandy). Mandy had developed a growth on her kidney and was scheduled immediately after the event for surgery.
On the day of her admission, Mandy was admitted to Peds Oncology at the Stollery. A last minute Pre-Op exam indicated that her tumor was cancerous and again our world was flipped upside down.
Recovering in the very room Kali was admitted in, Mandy was eventually released as "benign", but not without complications. Her next 6 months involved home care and missed school.
Just prior to, the 2005 event called upon 167 proud victims and generated 167,000.00 to be divided between Kids With Cancer and Make-A-Wish. Our second year to average 1000 per victim.
Again Bridget Ryan returned with a visit from the boys from the Bear (fearless Fred and ).
The RCMP were involved this year, lead by a female Constable who was a fellow parent from the K Division.
This year would have been our biggest turning point and I believe it was this modification that put us on the map:
Days prior to the event on the 14th (our traditional date) Gord came home from work expressing much frustration with his fundraising efforts. He explained with arms flailing that it is far too fashionable for men to be bald.
In an unthought mutter of release, he threatened that men aught to dye their hair pink - that would surely draw some added attention.
A huge light went on - I saw it. "DO IT!"
Its perfect, its brilliant!
Gord was simply venting.
After some heightened encouragement, a bet was made.
I was NOT letting this go.
I challenged Gord to approach the guys at work with this PINK notion and IF they were agreeable, I was gonna make this happen (even if only days before).
IF they were not agreeable, I would totally let the idea go.... (no true, I totally would have reneged on that one).
The next day Gordon returned from work, face telling the story that I was going to be doing some scrambling.
I think he was a starting to like this idea.
I placed a panicked call into our friend Stacey and asked her if she knew of where one could find pink hair colour. She hooked us up.
Next call into Bridget Ryan. My vision was for a "Pinking" on Breakfast television prior to the shave.
If you know Bridget, this was a no-brainer, she LOVED it too!
Gordon collected his willing "pinkiees" at work and I sought out for some of my own.
I needed kids, I knew kids would totally get into it.
Our karate school was the perfect environment to approach folks to support. The school had already demonstrated huge support to our family.
Kyrsti had shaved the year before in support of a close young friend Alexis who had relapsed. This year would be simply creative and breaking of new ground - heck it was simply weird and fun.
I selected a young lad (Tim Evans), I knew Tim would be more than agreeable (I hoped his parents felt the same).
The pinking was a success.
In the midst, a camera man put down his camera and announced "Im in".
We had a good mix of pink this year, including a pinking at the RCMP K Division.
WHo would have thought how this particular last minute turn of events would ultimately change the nature and personality of Hair Massacure as we know it.
