Moes Poker / Bike Rally

Moe Duvall is a Hair Massacure fundraising enthusiast.

Weve had the pleasure of having his involvement for the past 4 years.

This weekend Gord and I attended Moe's Motorcycle and Poker Rally at R Pub in Castle Downs.

We were in awe of his efforts and creativity.

Moe had 100 bikes in attendance, along with a little girl (Emma) who donated her hair in support of the sick kids (even though she herself has a rare blood disorder which parallels Leukaemia) and our first Proud Victim of the year!

Moe has a young nephew that has conquered 2 different cancers twice. He's invested. He melted in Emmas presence.

Breakfast was provided by the pub at 10:30 following registration (25.00 per head - all clear cash to the cause).....then Moe delivered his speech.

I feel its important to include that THIS man was quite nervous being the M.C. - the same man who dolled up as a woman and sold his fake nails at the bar one year (all for the kids), proudly wears CRAZY pink hair (as a biker and business owner), and chose to wear a pink wig ALL day yesterday. Another year he raised 10,000 one year in a huge coffee can at the bar.

Gord and I were warmly greeted by all of his participants and sponsors. They fed us breakfast, and invited me back with the girls for supper. Enjoyed sneaking my 14 year old daughter into a pub, but the highlight was their awesome homemade burger. Had to unhinge my jaw to eat it. All food provided and donated by R Pub. Moe seems to be quite popular with his peeps.

Now on a separate note, it was a little tugging for me to watch all those bikes roar by. I want a bike, have wanted one since the day I was thrown off (as a passenger) and run over by the car. Not sure why that inspired me to ride, took 2 years to heal from that boo boo.

So I'm putting it out into the universe. If our creator foresees that Tammy will will get another boo boo from riding, then Im hoping he will prevent me from acquiring one (likely through the bank that wont loan me the money). The other factor is that Im 5 ft tall. (actually gained half inch from the accident) - I may not even fit one - unless I ask a Shriner about one of the wee ones they ride in parades.

Not sure what Moes final total will be from his first annual September riding event, but Im anxious to find out.

Will update you on his success!

Thank you Moe, for everything you do!

New to our team

It is with great excitement that I announce a new addition to our team - Jaime Caza.

Jaime will be our Project Manager and is taking on a huge role as I pass some of my personal responsibilities to her. She shall be representing me in the front line in many areas so that I can breathe a bit better and have time for effective strategic planning. Im not leaving my role entirely, you will still see me, but hopefully not with my hair straight back - that will be Jaime -lol.

Jaime is actually not new to HM. She's been with us in the sponsor role for 6 years (as our "Big Cheese" from McDonalds Corporate Restaurants), a fundraiser for 5 years (initiating as Team Hope) and as a volunteer for 4 years. Last year Jaime took on a huge role as our volunteer coordinator which required many extra hours coordinating our few hundred volunteers.

In my recent post titled "Im back", I alluded to passing my hat to a certain someone that I had wished for and prayed about for the past few years. Well it came true.

I really dont know how the stars lined up, but I definitely know why. It was part of a greater plan.

On Friday Jaime signed on with us and said a very difficult goodbye to her position as C.R. for McDonalds (of 20 years). This decision was incredibly daunting as she has worked her way up, in charge of over 2200 employees, all corporate restaurants in N.A. Jaime has remained faithful to her commitments, however her heart has beckoned her over to something familiar she wholeheartedly believes in. She, like myself (and all of our HM Peeps) wants to use her position to make a difference in the lives of kids.

Jaime is also a Wish Mom. She has shared a similar journey with her daughter living in fear and prayer. Her fears are still in the forefront - in fact it was my last post (A Happy Outcome) that reflected a recent incident with Kailey.

Paired with in-debth experience pertinent to the position and an outstanding work ethic - Jaime is a perfect fit... and it helps that she's FUN.

Now some more good news for me. I can stop sucking up to her (as my biggest sponsor) and she'll have to start sucking up to me 'cause I'll be her boss (and I might just try and have some fun with that...).

Brandi shall have some work cut out familiarizing Jaime with the impressive HUGE binder that she developed over the summer organizing this beast.

We have not had an opportunity to have a Brandi to extract years of info from Tammys brain and revamp past documents, dont know how she tore though all of that and made it look sexy. Great job on that Brandi, and thumbs up on some brilliant strategies!

Think its coming together....

My goal this year - no thumb sucking in the fetal position.

A HAPPY OUTCOME

My last post on thursday was long overdue. It reflected hidden struggles this past year, and my involvement with Hair Massacure.

Just as I finished and hit "publish" I received a disturbing text.

My friend who was at the Taylor Swift concert with her 2 daughters was now in an ambulance on the way to Stollery with her older daughter. Her o2 dangerously low, she was blue. This is a unfortunate and familiar occurrence in this family. They were only 2 songs in when the episode happened.

Kailey is my wish child, and her mom Jaime is a very dear friend, volunteer and sponsor of Hair Massacure.

I have a soft spot for this girl and her family. Her story is phenomenal because Kailey does NOT present as a child with life threatening conditions. She plays hockey and lives life to considerable normalcy (for a girl with lung disease who cannot drink as liquids are fatal for her). Her attitude (her spirit) strikes me as her saviour (next to her family) - a common trait seen in these children whose mortality stares at them in the face.

On Tuesday we learned that 3 children passedon from one of our charities this week. Really brings it home, the harsh reality of a situation that could be your own.

My friend filled with trepidation as she prayed in the ambulance, like many times before.

There is a happy ending however (to this story)....

Learning about the concert nightmare, and feeling my friends heart break as she texted in the hospital prompted a phone call to a friend from CISN, my sponsor of 6 years.

Chris Sheetz, being the warm heart he is, put in a few calls and the result was a call back to me from Rexall. My angelic contact there was moved by the story and made magic happen.

Kailey, mom and little sis would get to meet Taylor after a second opportunity to see her performance.

The next day, I received a phone call from Miss Kailey. She was trying to say thank you, but the tears won that conversation. HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY was the picture emailed of Taylor with Jaime, Kailey and Sidney. HUGE smiles.

I also took note of the fact that Taylor is almost a foot taller than all of them! Not the first time I have heard how nice Taylor Swift is.

My only disappointment was the confiscation of the Kali Bear that was to be presented to her at the meet and greet.

So back to normal?? Sure hope so... at least for a while.

I'm back

Hi folks, I've missed connecting with all of you. It's been several months, but the words simply were not there.

Forgive me if I jump around, I'm struggling a bit with where to start.

First off, I'm proud to share that my lovely daughter Meagan was married in July. A chip off the old block - she planned with annoying precision and ownership as I referred to her as "Bridezilla". The result - BEST wedding EVER! Oh we had so much fun, not a boring moment.

I also have the best son-in-law anyone could hope for. Steven - you are warmly welcomed by many. Highlight of my summer!!

4 days later, my invincible dad had a massive heart attack. 4 days later - my Grammas 90th birthday celebration. A bit of a rollercoaster.

I also traded in the MassaCAR (My billboard Van). I struggled with it, but it was time, and we were missing our privacy. I'd like to thank Mayfield Toyota for your support through the years.

Wedding aside, and million dollars aside - its been a difficult year, Im not gonna sugar coat it, so here it is.....

Last Summer I fell ill with exhaustion and incurred a few "Tammy type" injuries - needless to say this slowed me to an abrupt halt. I had time to reflect, feel worried and stressed about managing upcoming chaos.

By September when HM abruptly kicked in and all my fears came to fruition, I was on the ground running.

As Christmas approached I was into my first week of stress leave and by Jan 5, I was on the ground running again - on 5 different medications. My ticker took a licking.

I struggled with sharing my situation with most of the folks in my life as I found it embarrassing that a seasoned herbalist would have resort to such desperate measures.

I also set an unnatural standard for myself that I could not show weakness, and any of my human flaws would be only displayed as humorous anecdotes.

By the end of February I was filled with such exhaustion that I could not effectively manage my headspace.

I continued to stuff emotions until I hit depression, and even that I hid. Meanwhile

event follow up tore at my insides as I became aware of every little hiccup that occurred on Feb 13.

Desperate efforts to avoid hiccups in fall and winter, strategic planning was not bullet proof.

For some reason my unrealistic goals of perfection cannot foresee error, nor except it when it happens. This is my recent admission to myself.

400 volunteers, 1,800 participants, 250 VIP's and entertainers and 3 charities - how could one not expect glitches.

I talk about it like I was prepared for it. Emotionally I cannot deal with letting anyone down in any capacity whether Im directly responsible or not. This is one of my demons, and I have accepted that I have a long way to go before it goes away.

By April, I came to a painful realization - I approached the charities and asked them to take over Hair Massacure.

I knew I could no longer tackle the beast, particularly as a single mom. I could not manage the enormity of the pressures I felt. I was spent and desperate to live a life of normalcy.

The charities kindly agreed. I am certain they saw this day coming.

I cannot put into words how guilty and embarrassed I felt for giving up.

I was letting so many down, including myself and my family. What would I say to my peeps, our team?

What are my kids thinking - are they disappointed? How do I address myself in future - "Tammy the who????"

I was going to loose my identity. I was now the mom who walked out.

All summer I worked with Brandi creating documents, extracting everything about HM that I stored in my head and in various journals.... mostly in my head - 9 years worth.

For the first time I felt comfortable and ready to relinquish it all, almost like I was harbouring this well kept secret.

The haunting question lingering over my head all of these months - WHO would replace me?

I had no intention of leaving (just so were clear). My plan to linger in the background in an advisory role, continuing on as the ambassador (along with the rest of the fam).

I have had thoughts in past, much like us parents pondering who would take their children in the event they were abruptly yanked off the earth - it was much the same. WHO would take our baby?

I wont go as far as to divulge, however I have thought a lot about that and in the past few months have said many a prayer over it.

With the shock of my dad's recent massive heart attack, efforts of trying to sell my house (due to annoying reoccurring intrusions) and the "WHO" hanging over my head, I came to a place of acceptance that the lessons attached to these events were intended for personal growth.

A balance of fighting for what you need and letting go of what you cannot control has been extremely difficult, but the point has been received.

I am ending this blog with this message - Unless the aliens beam me up, or I get hit by a truck (again), Im not going anywhere. I will strive to find balance between surrendering and executing.

I am coming to peace with my work and on Feb 3, I will be exactly where I need to be - beside another "Tammy", and hopefully not running with hair straight back.

As Brandi mentioned in her post - This is our 10th ANNIVERSARY. It HAS to be special.

Some of you may have noticed the positing for this position - I hope this provides a better understanding. Will keep you all updated on who that shall be when all interviews have been completed.

God works in mysterious ways. I am praying for success.

Updates and Anniversaries

How can it be the middle of August already? How is that possible?

We've had a busy summer around here. Vacations, workshops, weddings, and unfortunately lots of rain! But, aside from the fun and frivolity, we have been working hard behind the scenes on the next Hair Massacure.

Do you all realize that 2012 will be the 10th Hair Massacure? I asked Tammy the other day if she had any idea - even just 4 or 5 years ago - that it was going to get this big. She said heck no!! (okay that's sort of what she said). When it was created 10 years ago it was just supposed to be a supportive gesture for a young girl, and maybe it would raise some money to help the kids and families that needed it. Look at it now! Goes to show what you can achieve from a simple seed...

We are busy with websites and Facebook pages and sponsors and pledge packages and agreements and all manner of things that the MacDonald family didn't even dream of in 2003. It's amazing. The amount of support we get continues to amaze me. I am very pleased to be on this Team.

Speaking of websites and Facebook pages: our website is coming along nicely, with lots of changes that we hope will make it easier for you. The registration and donation area is undergoing some changes right now but should be up and running very soon. Our old Facebook page is going to be discontinued soon in favour of a new, more interactive one (the link to the new page is on our website - on the contact us page). Make sure you bookmark it - we are going to use it for sending updates and photos.

As for you, I hope you are having a fabulous summer full of love and laughter. I think we take those things for granted when we have them, but feel their absence deeply when they are gone. Oh, that sounded sad - sorry - I just really want us all to be "in the moment" and celebrate the joys that life provides.

And, we want you to celebrate 10 years of making progress, inspiring children, and helping families.

Those are my thoughts for the day... enjoy the sunshine!

Leo Nickerson Rocks!

Schools have so much energy at this time of year - especially on a sunny day. We haven't had many of them lately, so it was especially nice on Wednesday.

Leo Nickerson Elementary was our second-place school in fundraising this year. We surprised them with a quick Dance Party on Wednesday afternoon, and they did not disappoint. DJ Fish provided some rockin' tunes and crazy lights, and the kids provided a heap of enthusiasm! A quick appearance by the Kali Bear and a few conga lines later, the gym emptied of hyped-up kids and teachers.

Sorry to those who really had to try to get something done with the kids after we left...

Anyway, it was a fun afternoon and we just wanted to say thanks to everyone who worked so hard to make LN's Hair Massacure 2011 a rousing success.

Have a great summer kids (and teachers)!!

a Miracle

Hi folks,

Its been a couple of months since I've blogged. Although I wanted to, the words were not present simply because the brain wasn't either.

For 5 consecutive years our family (primarily myself) have experienced event exhaustion.

Our love for the event is what keeps us involved, however I must be frank - its also overwhelming.

Hair Massacure is synonymous with the MacDonalds. Its our story, our creation, our vision.

We cannot shelve it as it resonates within us, it represents us - it also consumes us.

Comparing with a colicky baby or hyperactive child - every mother feels the love but needs a break now and then. After 7 months, we need a break.

Typically after an event of this enormity, the sight of a finish line becomes the motive to push through and collect all of the necessary data to wrap up, say our thank yous, issue acknowledgements, plan debrief meetings, distribute photos and update website.

In and amongst all of that, there is a captain and youth volunteer appreciation event, school concert and a media release issuing our triumphant success of surpassing the million.

Although sad that Nicki is gone (and back on the River Queen), I am very appreciative to have Brandi for the summer and through to next year. I can no longer manage the upcoming responsibilities throughout these months.

Its a lot to process after the fact when one simply wishes to find a corner to curl up in (in the fetal position) and suck a thumb.

I am relieved to say today... (after an ultra relaxing check-in with Brandi, while sipping on a delicious chocolate banana latte) that we are over the hump and perhaps the production of adrenaline can stabilize (until fall...).

April 30 is our year end. As of 5:00 pm this day, all money collected represented this total.... 1,053,482.40. Yay!!!

This was also the day of the school concert at Neil M Ross where Gord Bamford sang his heart out to a spirited, high achieving group of elementary students who raised 74,000 (again).

Our Gord and daughter Kyrsti gave rave reviews of this performance, and how Gord B interacted with his young audience. The highlight being the signed guitar gifted to two brothers who demonstrated exemplary efforts with fundraising. I am most pleased to hear of this great success!

Sadly, Kali and I did not go to the concert as we were awaiting a difficult decision about Kali's dog Shooter.

Shooter suffered a severe stroke the night before. He left us and came back.

His fate laid in the hands of friend (and HM captain) Marina - our family vet.

Our daughter Kali, frozen with despair, felt that her entire world had just crumbled.

To offer some insight:

During Kalis treatment, getting ready for another 8 hour session of intravenous poison at the Cross Cancer Clinic - a bomb was dropped by our 4 year old that will forever haunt me - "Mommy, if I live through my treatment, can I have little doggy?"

I replied... "we'll get you a camel.... anything for you Kali - just keep fighting".

We went little dog shopping in those last remaining months of her treatment.

Through a miraculous series of events, a friend of a friend hooked us up with "Shooter" - a grand champion puppy (a financial jackpot for his breeder).

Shooter's original destiny was to generate a successful career for this world renowned Papillion breeder (who's puppies are on a 3 year waiting list).

I think fate (God) had a different vision for his calling. He was to be an incentive companion for a little girl battling cancer. Shooter simply stopped growing and was disqualified from the show ring. At 6 months old, he was retired.

Kali received 2 gifts on her 5 th birthday (which was 8 years ago exactly at this time).

She was finally released from her 33 month daily chemotherapy regime AND her wish came true - she got her little dog.

Shooter came to us at 6 months old, all of 2 pounds soaking wet.

At 7 months he was neutered and it was discovered that he had kidney disease. We were encouraged to return him to the breeder as his treatment would be very costly, life span estimated at 6 months. Confirmed by 2 vet clinics, we made the decision to face the music. Shooter was Kali's dog and a part of the family.

Over and above - he was an exceptional little dog that mirrored our daughter in so many ways.

I took him home and made his food (laced with the same herbs I had placed Kali on following treatment).

Shooter overcame his disease 100%. The veterinarians in disbelief.

Broken bones, degenerative arthritis and disjointed knees over these past few years prompting disabling episodes which warranted "final" trips to the vet.

Each time, a last minute plea with "gut feelings" caused Gord and I to reconsider the fate of this special dog and override professional opinions.

Last Thursday night, after a freak traumatic accident, Shooter suffered a massive stroke and sadly collapsed in Mandys arms. His vitals faded away.

The house filled with tears of shock and despair.

I collected Shooter from Mandy and laid him on our kitchen floor. His bladder let go, he was gone.

During this time, our friend Marina (HM captain and veterinarian) slipped into our home, offering her support (I had just called her upon hearing Kali's panic stricken screams).

As moments passed, miraculously his heart resumed, no reflexes. Then reflexes. Gradually he was back, then deteriorated again. The whole family came and surrounded him. He was clearly fading and suffering

The kids all said their good-byes (again). Gord and I made a late night trip to the emergency clinic. It was the most humane thing to do.

The drive there felt like a roller coaster ride in a smooth riding van.

Shooter had a different plan and perked up in the parking lot. His reflexes scrambled to allow him to walk. Perhaps he knew...

We brought him home.

The decision to let him go waffled back and forth several times over these few days, as our vet friend referred to his roller coaster conduction as "bi-polar injury".

Kali and I missed the concert as we sat at home in crippling silence awaiting a call from the clinic.

On Sunday we brought Shooter home and we are no longer waffling. He is at great risk for another upcoming stroke, however... we are looking straight ahead - striving for quality of life.

Shooter is on herbs again. I am happy to report that 5 days later he is running, playing, begging, barking and wagging.

Kali's birthday is next week. We are hopeful.

As for me, I feel compelled to share with all of you my thoughts about these recent afflictions that hit our family.

I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason.

I feel our dog was a catalyst for lessons for each of us involved in the family.

On that note, after HM and prior to Shooter - my girlfriend and stepmom were diagnosed.

My attention took a sharp turn in the direction of friends and family.

I will humbly share that I have not been in a healthy state of mind following our amazing and incredible event. Simply put - burnt out.

Im not too proud to admit that I was succumbing to a depression (understandably after months of high adrenaline). This does not embarrass me to be human, however this recent upheaval felt like a sharp, well deserved kick in the pants.

I have obviously forgotten the miracles I witnessed on 4E3, and the celebratory triumphs over lives spared like the Taylor's, and the Eli's, MacKenzie's, Kali's, Kim's, Cayne's, Robert's, Shirley's and Shooters...

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the day to day difficulties and adversaries that consume our lives, we become blinded, missing those little miracles and lessons that exist as well.

Because we are living a human experience, I am certain that my epiphany will eventually fade, roping me back into another reminder and a kick in the pants.

Until then .... I am present and filled with a renewed appreciation for life.